Let it Go! Drop the Past and Grab Your Future
By Carmen Honacker
Don’t Let the Past Get in the Way of Your Future
Most of us have a hard time letting go of bad memories or times when we have been wronged or abused. Sometimes, holding on for a short while can aid us in becoming stronger and making better decisions in the future; but when we’re unable to learn, or refuse to learn, or when we have learned and still hold on, we become stuck. And when be become stuck, our “bad” memories turn into a toxic dump that’s eating us up from the inside out. Literally!
Holding on to things that no longer serve you will make you physically and mentally ill. There is no worse killer of a sound body and mind than a sick attachment to the past and the people in it. The older we get, the sicker we become, until we are an island of toxic waste; the persons we once complained about, the sick behaviors we ranted and raved about, may now have become our own, and we’re stuck in our own version of reality; unable to see it. Hence, we continue living a miserable life, filled with regret, driving those around us insane, until the day we die. And when we lay on our death bed, we can’t look bad and say “what a ride,” instead we have nothing inside of us but pain, sorrow, anger and misery.
This isn’t what we’re meant to be or meant to do! This is not our destiny, and we can choose differently. No matter how often we have been wronged, and what abuse we may have endured; no matter what nutjobs made our lives hell, we can always choose to come out of it, always! It’s never “too late” to change if we choose. It’s too late when we started believing our own hype and are now caught up in what we call “real.”
How does one release one’s crappy past? Well, that depends on one’s baggage. The bigger the skeletons in the closet, the bigger the chance that you won’t be able to do it alone and without help. This isn’t a bad thing, and it sure as hell doesn’t make you weak! Weak is stubbornly looking the other way, giving up and whining that you “can’t.” Weak is not taking responsibility for your quality of life and for refusing to see how your chosen misery touches the lives of those around you; and how you make them miserable, too!
There are plenty of therapists and therapy styles; there’s yoga, meditation and there are self-help books. In other words, there is more material on getting well than one could possibly ever consume in a lifetime. If your life sucks and the quality of your life is miserable, then do something about it. Got crappy friends? Don’t have the relationships, friends, career or money you want? Do something about it! Start by taking an honest look at yourself, ask a few “trusted” advisors, preferably people who actually live the life you want, and then get help.
One awesome tool my therapist taught me is purging! Write it down. Write letters, emails, notes, and journals; whatever you want. You don’t even have to send them, although you can if necessary (just be prepared for any consequences your confrontation may have!). Very important about this exercise, do it to get it off your chest, not to attach an outcome or expect change! If you expect an outcome, you’ll set yourself up for failure all over again.
People do not change for you or for me. People won’t magically learn to hear you, won’t suddenly see things your way, be responsible, accountable or learn to care. No, my friend, that part you cannot expect. Most people who harm others will continue to do so; nothing you say or do will change that. But if you simply need to speak your truth, do it! Go for it, set yourself free and walk away. No back and forth arguing, no trying to “change their mind,” no hanging on to expecting an apology or a reconciliation of any sort. Just release the crap and then let it go for good!
I have learned in therapy to do this. Once I started purging my skeletons, my life became easier. What was even more amazing to me is that my therapist taught me how to stop blaming myself and feeling guilty when I confronted someone who had abused or wronged me. The outcome was and still is liberating. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wander around wielding my sword of justice (although that is what I do well ;-D ); I do, however speak up in situations that I literally swallowed before. And what I found is that I simply feel a great sense of pleasure from no longer allowing others to use me, badmouth, or simply harm me. I don’t feel guilty (after all, I give you ample warning before I “strike”) and I don’t get caught up too much in the BS anymore.
Sure, this is a process; and a long one for me so far. Sure, there are times when I slip, because none of this comes as naturally to me as it should, but with practice I’m getting better, and with that I am getting stronger and healthier. I no longer “hold it in” and I don’t pretend to be fine. There is a fine line between being able to forgive and being a doormat. I always opted for “taking the high road,” which meant that at a specific point, I’d drop the conversation and simply never speak to the person again. However, I would hold it inside and I would obsess about it, because the other one “got away with it,” while I still held the pain inside. The army of jerks that was stuck in my “closet” was quite large and the pain I felt reliving their BS was debilitating. If you think “they” are going through the same hell, you are probably mistaken. Most jerks not only justify their actions and words, but continue them; and you, my friend, won’t change that.
Once you start releasing your pain, your whole life will turn around. The lighter your load gets, the lighter your life becomes. You’ll start having more light than dark days, you’ll laugh more, cry less, worry less, trust more (in the right places) and find yourself attracting all the things you want.
Having a light heart is the key to happiness and success. Holding on to your BS is only going to make you miserable, while the rest of the world stops listening to you, avoiding you, until one day, you’ll find yourself truly and utterly alone; regarded as the bitter, whiny, crybaby you have become. And who wants that fate? Not I, and you shouldn’t either!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
regain your balance “in the heat of the moment”
4 Stress Busting Tips
By Psychic Yemaya
As we see children growing up and learning, their biggest obstacle is usually their own frustration, and that’s true of adults as well! When we’re stressed out or frustrated, we don’t handle things well. We’re in danger of overreacting or lashing out, and perhaps doing something we’ll regret later. Your body is in danger from stress as well—these are the things that can shave years off the healthy quality of your life. Each time you stress out, you’re causing perhaps irrevocable damage to small blood vessels, synapse structures in the brain, or the tissues around the heart, etc, etc….
So how can you regain your balance “in the heat of the moment”?
I study how to modify behaviors as well as different therapies or programs to deal with them. One of my favorites for dealing with stress in the moment is “H.A.L.T.” This system suggests that when you’re too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired you need to be very careful of your emotions, and reactions (hence…H.A.L.T.) and the second you are aware that your stress is building or your getting irritated…you stop what you’re doing (to the best of your ability) and reset and calm yourself.
How do you reset?
1. Take a moment to go to another room, or excuse yourself for a bathroom trip. Perhaps go outside if you can. In other words, step away from the source of stress if you can.
2. Stop your mind from churning. Focus on s-l-o-w, even breaths in and out, count as you breathe in, and again as you breathe all the way out. Lengthen each breath until it’s as long and deep and slow as you can go. This actually forces your body to calm down which is half the battle!
3. Before you think through the situation, or even consider it, you need to center. This spiritual term is about pulling your energy back into your body. Focus your awareness on the flow of energy around your core, your spine; your chakras. More advanced students can use the associated chakra colors, or tones, to balance each of the seven points (you can look them up on Wikipedia!). If you’re just learning, simply being aware of pulling your energy back into your core, along with the focus on slowing your breath is enough.
4. Grounding is also a spiritual term about feeling yourself attached to the ground (earth, gravitational pull, solid foundation) below your feet. By shifting your focus to where your body touches the earth, you are attaching to something around you that is much bigger and denser… like letting your negative emotions go into a much bigger container, and drawing the calm and positive energy from that space… into yourself!
Now deciding how to handle the situation will be easier. When something is bothering you, talk to someone about it! If you don’t feel safe talking to someone in your life, find a professional that will be a confidential listener.
By Psychic Yemaya
As we see children growing up and learning, their biggest obstacle is usually their own frustration, and that’s true of adults as well! When we’re stressed out or frustrated, we don’t handle things well. We’re in danger of overreacting or lashing out, and perhaps doing something we’ll regret later. Your body is in danger from stress as well—these are the things that can shave years off the healthy quality of your life. Each time you stress out, you’re causing perhaps irrevocable damage to small blood vessels, synapse structures in the brain, or the tissues around the heart, etc, etc….
So how can you regain your balance “in the heat of the moment”?
I study how to modify behaviors as well as different therapies or programs to deal with them. One of my favorites for dealing with stress in the moment is “H.A.L.T.” This system suggests that when you’re too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired you need to be very careful of your emotions, and reactions (hence…H.A.L.T.) and the second you are aware that your stress is building or your getting irritated…you stop what you’re doing (to the best of your ability) and reset and calm yourself.
How do you reset?
1. Take a moment to go to another room, or excuse yourself for a bathroom trip. Perhaps go outside if you can. In other words, step away from the source of stress if you can.
2. Stop your mind from churning. Focus on s-l-o-w, even breaths in and out, count as you breathe in, and again as you breathe all the way out. Lengthen each breath until it’s as long and deep and slow as you can go. This actually forces your body to calm down which is half the battle!
3. Before you think through the situation, or even consider it, you need to center. This spiritual term is about pulling your energy back into your body. Focus your awareness on the flow of energy around your core, your spine; your chakras. More advanced students can use the associated chakra colors, or tones, to balance each of the seven points (you can look them up on Wikipedia!). If you’re just learning, simply being aware of pulling your energy back into your core, along with the focus on slowing your breath is enough.
4. Grounding is also a spiritual term about feeling yourself attached to the ground (earth, gravitational pull, solid foundation) below your feet. By shifting your focus to where your body touches the earth, you are attaching to something around you that is much bigger and denser… like letting your negative emotions go into a much bigger container, and drawing the calm and positive energy from that space… into yourself!
Now deciding how to handle the situation will be easier. When something is bothering you, talk to someone about it! If you don’t feel safe talking to someone in your life, find a professional that will be a confidential listener.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Resistant starch: The new power nutrient
Resistant starch: The new power nutrient
by Mary Lee Chin
Learn more at: www.maryleechin.com
March National Nutrition Month 2008 It’s always been fascinating to work in the field of nutrition. New and interesting nutrition science research findings constantly emerge. The challenge is to tease out the relevant and truly useful information, from the promises of quick fixes. For 2008 March National Nutrition Month, I am going to explore something new and a bit different. While this may be the first time you have heard of it, it’s actually been a part of your diet most of your life. Research, well-documented and replicated, points to the health benefits of a component in starchy food called resistant starch, a type of dietary fiber.
Those on low-carb diets may have been avoiding starchy foods such as potatoes, grains, beans, corn, rice, bread, pasta and cornflakes, billed as causing blood sugars to rise, and packing on unneeded calories. But all these foods contain resistant starch, formed particularly when cooked starchy foods are cooled.
Keep it cool Cooking causes starch to absorb water and swell. As it slowly cools, portions of the starch crystallize into a form that resists digestion. Cooling either at room temperature or preferably in the refrigerator will raise resistant starch levels. Don’t reheat. That breaks up the crystals, causing resistant starch levels to plummet.
It gets its name because it “resists” digestion in the body, and though this is true of many types of fiber, what makes resistant starch so special is the impact it has on weight loss and health overall.
Health benefits More than 160 studies have examined this little-known nutrient’s health and weight-loss benefits. A WHO Expert Consultation on Human Nutrition statement, "One of the major developments in our understanding of the importance of carbohydrates for health in the past twenty years has been the discovery of resistant starch.”
Weight Resistant starch has shown that can it increase your body’s ability to burn fat. Escaping digestion in the small intestine, it passes to the large bowel for fermentation, and creates a beneficial short-chain fatty acid called butyrate. Butyrate may block the body’s ability to burn carbohydrates. Instead the body burns both stored fat and recently consumed fat for energy---preventing it from ending up on your thighs.
It shuts down hunger hormones. Animal studies have found that resistant starch prompts the body to stimulate production of a satiety-inducing hormone, a peptide (PYY), which increases feelings of fullness. You eat less.
Cancer Research shows that the butyrate created by resistant starch is protective of colon cells, making it less vulnerable to the DNA damage which can lead to cancer. It can also create a pH drop inside the colon, which boosts the absorption of calcium and blocks the absorption of cancer-causing substances.
Diabetes Like other fibers, resistant starch helps control blood sugar levels. Because it skips routine digestion, researchers see lower blood sugar and insulin levels following a resistant starch-rich meal. Another exciting area of research is looking at its ability to improve insulin sensitivity.
How to eat enough Right now, there is no recommendation from USDA for resistant starch intake. Preliminary data shows the average American woman consumes about 4 grams of resistant starch each day. Nutrition experts believe the research is strong enough to advocate doubling that to 8 grams per day. Simply adding ½ to 1 cup of cooled resistant starch-rich food per day can help you get to that level.
Tips for adding resistant starch to your diet
Beans 8 grams per ½ cup
Ø Dust off your recipe for a traditional Three-bean Salad
Ø Snack on hummus or bean dip with whole grain crackers or crisp carrot sticks
Ø Savor Spicy Black, Pinto Bean and Corn Salsa (recipe below)
Bananas (slightly green) 6 grams per small piece of fruit
Ø Slice and mix with yogurt and granola
Ø Top a favorite curry with banana chunks
Ø Think kid…peanut butter and raisins on banana for classic “Ants on a Log”
Potatoes and yams 4 grams per ½ cup
Ø Serve cold potato salad
Ø Toss chilled, chunked red potatoes into a green salad
Ø Go elegant and serve Vichyssoise--cold potato soup
Barley 3 grams per ½ cup
Ø Create a cold barley salad of cooked cooled barley, red peppers, peas and Italian dressing
Ø Sprinkle onto leafy green garden salads
Ø Mix with chopped fresh basil, olives and olive oil and stuff into hollowed tomatoes
Corn 2 grams per half cup
Ø Combine cooked cooled corn with tomatoes, cucumbers and green onions
Ø Sprinkle on top of your green salads
Ø Wrap it up in your taco
Spicy Black, Pinto Bean and Corn Salsa
2 - 14 ounce cans black beans, drained
1 - 14 ounce can pinto beans, drained
1 - 14 ounce can corn, drained
3 large tomatoes, chopped
½ medium red onion, chopped, or I bunch scallions, chopped
1 bottle hot sauce (I used ½ bottle of Cholula’s)
1 clove garlic, minced
1 T balsamic vinegar
1 T olive oil
½ bunch cilantro, chopped
Combine all. Good served immediately but even better if it can sit in refrigerator for an hour for flavors to blend. Serve with whole grain corn chips as a dip, or over chopped green lettuce for a main meal salad.
by Mary Lee Chin
Learn more at: www.maryleechin.com
March National Nutrition Month 2008 It’s always been fascinating to work in the field of nutrition. New and interesting nutrition science research findings constantly emerge. The challenge is to tease out the relevant and truly useful information, from the promises of quick fixes. For 2008 March National Nutrition Month, I am going to explore something new and a bit different. While this may be the first time you have heard of it, it’s actually been a part of your diet most of your life. Research, well-documented and replicated, points to the health benefits of a component in starchy food called resistant starch, a type of dietary fiber.
Those on low-carb diets may have been avoiding starchy foods such as potatoes, grains, beans, corn, rice, bread, pasta and cornflakes, billed as causing blood sugars to rise, and packing on unneeded calories. But all these foods contain resistant starch, formed particularly when cooked starchy foods are cooled.
Keep it cool Cooking causes starch to absorb water and swell. As it slowly cools, portions of the starch crystallize into a form that resists digestion. Cooling either at room temperature or preferably in the refrigerator will raise resistant starch levels. Don’t reheat. That breaks up the crystals, causing resistant starch levels to plummet.
It gets its name because it “resists” digestion in the body, and though this is true of many types of fiber, what makes resistant starch so special is the impact it has on weight loss and health overall.
Health benefits More than 160 studies have examined this little-known nutrient’s health and weight-loss benefits. A WHO Expert Consultation on Human Nutrition statement, "One of the major developments in our understanding of the importance of carbohydrates for health in the past twenty years has been the discovery of resistant starch.”
Weight Resistant starch has shown that can it increase your body’s ability to burn fat. Escaping digestion in the small intestine, it passes to the large bowel for fermentation, and creates a beneficial short-chain fatty acid called butyrate. Butyrate may block the body’s ability to burn carbohydrates. Instead the body burns both stored fat and recently consumed fat for energy---preventing it from ending up on your thighs.
It shuts down hunger hormones. Animal studies have found that resistant starch prompts the body to stimulate production of a satiety-inducing hormone, a peptide (PYY), which increases feelings of fullness. You eat less.
Cancer Research shows that the butyrate created by resistant starch is protective of colon cells, making it less vulnerable to the DNA damage which can lead to cancer. It can also create a pH drop inside the colon, which boosts the absorption of calcium and blocks the absorption of cancer-causing substances.
Diabetes Like other fibers, resistant starch helps control blood sugar levels. Because it skips routine digestion, researchers see lower blood sugar and insulin levels following a resistant starch-rich meal. Another exciting area of research is looking at its ability to improve insulin sensitivity.
How to eat enough Right now, there is no recommendation from USDA for resistant starch intake. Preliminary data shows the average American woman consumes about 4 grams of resistant starch each day. Nutrition experts believe the research is strong enough to advocate doubling that to 8 grams per day. Simply adding ½ to 1 cup of cooled resistant starch-rich food per day can help you get to that level.
Tips for adding resistant starch to your diet
Beans 8 grams per ½ cup
Ø Dust off your recipe for a traditional Three-bean Salad
Ø Snack on hummus or bean dip with whole grain crackers or crisp carrot sticks
Ø Savor Spicy Black, Pinto Bean and Corn Salsa (recipe below)
Bananas (slightly green) 6 grams per small piece of fruit
Ø Slice and mix with yogurt and granola
Ø Top a favorite curry with banana chunks
Ø Think kid…peanut butter and raisins on banana for classic “Ants on a Log”
Potatoes and yams 4 grams per ½ cup
Ø Serve cold potato salad
Ø Toss chilled, chunked red potatoes into a green salad
Ø Go elegant and serve Vichyssoise--cold potato soup
Barley 3 grams per ½ cup
Ø Create a cold barley salad of cooked cooled barley, red peppers, peas and Italian dressing
Ø Sprinkle onto leafy green garden salads
Ø Mix with chopped fresh basil, olives and olive oil and stuff into hollowed tomatoes
Corn 2 grams per half cup
Ø Combine cooked cooled corn with tomatoes, cucumbers and green onions
Ø Sprinkle on top of your green salads
Ø Wrap it up in your taco
Spicy Black, Pinto Bean and Corn Salsa
2 - 14 ounce cans black beans, drained
1 - 14 ounce can pinto beans, drained
1 - 14 ounce can corn, drained
3 large tomatoes, chopped
½ medium red onion, chopped, or I bunch scallions, chopped
1 bottle hot sauce (I used ½ bottle of Cholula’s)
1 clove garlic, minced
1 T balsamic vinegar
1 T olive oil
½ bunch cilantro, chopped
Combine all. Good served immediately but even better if it can sit in refrigerator for an hour for flavors to blend. Serve with whole grain corn chips as a dip, or over chopped green lettuce for a main meal salad.
Deconstructing Franny: Super-Carbs Speed Metabolism
There are "resistant starches" that help prevent the foods that contain it from being stored as fat. They quoted David Feder, R.D. (author of The Skinny Carbs Diet) "Most starches are broken down into glucose and released into the bloodstream in the small intestine. But digestive enzymes can't break up resistant starch molecules, so they're not converted into sugar." The article went on to state that because digestive enzymes can't break down resistant starch, the body absorbs up to 50% fewer calories from foods that contain it. Resistant starch also helps move fat molecules through the digestive tract more quickly
Upon researching the topic further I found a blogpost by Mary Lee Chin MS, RD that in regards to Weight "Resistant starch has shown that it can increase your body’s ability to burn fat. Escaping digestion in the small intestine, it passes to the large bowel for fermentation, and creates a beneficial short-chain fatty acid called butyrate. (It is believed that ) Butyrate blocks the body’s ability to burn carbohydrates. Instead the body burns both stored fat and recently consumed fat for energy---preventing it from ending up on your thighs.
It shuts down hunger hormones. Animal studies have found that resistant starch prompts the body to stimulate production of a satiety-inducing hormone, a peptide (PYY), which increases feelings of fullness. You eat less."
AH-MAZ-ING!
Apparently the trick is (that the FIRST article failed to mention) is that if these starches are cool they work even more efficiently.
The list of RS foods include:
Long Grain Brown Rice
Beans (black, navy, pinto, red Black-eyed peas, Garbanzo Beans, Edamame, etc)
banana (medium slightly under ripe)
Yams and Potatoes (small and cooked)
Hummus
Corn
Hi-Maize Flour (King Arthur) *can be used along with any recipe calling for flour
read more about it here , here and here
The FIRST Magazine recommends consuming 20 grams of RS starch per day. 4 daily servings of 5 grams would work. So I'm going to give this a shot for two weeks, anything bigger than a 4lb weight loss I am going to attribute to my consumption of Resistant Starches.
http://deconstructingfranny.blogspot.com
Upon researching the topic further I found a blogpost by Mary Lee Chin MS, RD that in regards to Weight "Resistant starch has shown that it can increase your body’s ability to burn fat. Escaping digestion in the small intestine, it passes to the large bowel for fermentation, and creates a beneficial short-chain fatty acid called butyrate. (It is believed that ) Butyrate blocks the body’s ability to burn carbohydrates. Instead the body burns both stored fat and recently consumed fat for energy---preventing it from ending up on your thighs.
It shuts down hunger hormones. Animal studies have found that resistant starch prompts the body to stimulate production of a satiety-inducing hormone, a peptide (PYY), which increases feelings of fullness. You eat less."
AH-MAZ-ING!
Apparently the trick is (that the FIRST article failed to mention) is that if these starches are cool they work even more efficiently.
The list of RS foods include:
Long Grain Brown Rice
Beans (black, navy, pinto, red Black-eyed peas, Garbanzo Beans, Edamame, etc)
banana (medium slightly under ripe)
Yams and Potatoes (small and cooked)
Hummus
Corn
Hi-Maize Flour (King Arthur) *can be used along with any recipe calling for flour
read more about it here , here and here
The FIRST Magazine recommends consuming 20 grams of RS starch per day. 4 daily servings of 5 grams would work. So I'm going to give this a shot for two weeks, anything bigger than a 4lb weight loss I am going to attribute to my consumption of Resistant Starches.
http://deconstructingfranny.blogspot.com
Monday, August 1, 2011
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