Wednesday, October 26, 2011

It’s as Simple as 10-10-10

Quiz: Are You On the Right Path?
By Holly Allender
It’s as Simple as 10-10-10

Suzy Welch, author of 10-10-10, was not just having a bad day, but lots of things were not going the way she wanted. She needed something to help her make sense of her relationship with her husband, children and her career path. She no longer felt in control of her life or the decisions she needed to make. It felt like life was dictating to her instead of the other way around.

Through her enlightenment, you can find salvation to confusing or overwhelming situations in the following three questions she calls 10-10-10: “What are the consequences of each of my options in ten minutes? In ten months? In ten years?”

As I read this, a light suddenly dawned for me, and I immediately put the 10-10-10 idea into practice. I was unhappy at my job and was confused if I should quit. So as I was making my way home from work, I asked myself those three questions in relation to quitting my job. Here’s what I came up with projecting myself into the future me:

In 10 minutes: I would feel relief that it was over. The hardship and anxiety I had there would be in the past.

In 10 months: I was surprised to find that I felt regret. Regret that I didn’t try a few other things to improve the situation. Also, the pain of having to find another job.

In 10 years: None of it would really matter. I saw myself in a job I enjoyed and myself happy.

But it was that 10 months that stopped me from quitting immediately. I went back to work the next day determined to see the situation differently and find ways to make my life there better.

I really liked this system and thought I would try this with a friend who was very unhappy in her relationship. She had broken up with him many times and always got back together with him. So I asked her the 10-10-10 questions about breaking up with him forever. Here’s what she learned about herself:

In 10 minutes: She felt relief that it was over.

In 10 months: She still felt good that he was out of her life. No more issues or nagging guilt. She felt free from his tangled grip and manipulations.

In 10 years: He was a distant memory and no longer a thought in her life. She had moved on and let it all go.

She surprised herself by her answers, but she had found clarity in a muddy situation. That night, she broke up with her boyfriend. Although the following months after the break up were difficult, she never wavered from her vision and she did feel happy and free.

I have continued to use this in my arsenal of tools against confusion and when I’ve chunked up. Finding clarity allowed myself and others to feel more empowered in our decisions. It also helped make the issues more tangible, and a path was carved showing the next step.

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