Tuesday, August 30, 2011
30 Ways to Nourish Your Mind, Body and Soul
30 Ways to Nourish Your Mind, Body and Soul
By Psychic Agnes
There is no better journey than living your best life. It is something we can all accomplish with a little patience, time, effort, and self-support. There is no such thing as ultimate perfection, but it possible to gain what is perfect for you to find happiness and contentment. Your life belongs solely to you in regards to loving yourself. Love for oneself gets stronger with practice and attentive action. Self-worth is the key which allows us to do, live, and believe all that we can perceive. Your mind, body, and soul can be fully enjoyed if you are willing to be bold. Here are thirty ways to allow the benefits to unfold and gain self-control.
1. Think and believe there is nothing you desire which can’t be achieved.
2. Never forget to love yourself first and appreciate your worth.
3. Accept your beauty, faults, flaws and all as part of your goodness.
4. Every now and again focus solely on your needs and happiness.
5. Remove all things, people, and places that don’t support your best interests.
6. Experience things independently and openly as your own best friend.
7. Gift yourself as much as you are willing to gift anyone else.
8. Don’t ignore your intuition, intellect, pride, emotions, desires, or wisdom.
9. Set aside time for learning and experiencing new things.
10. Surround yourself in physical, material and emotional comfort.
11. Stand up for yourself even when you don’t have the agreement of anyone else.
12. Value your own opinion about what is good for you.
13. Do not allow family or friendships to define your will, purpose, or happiness.
14. Be kind to yourself when you make a mistake while allowing yourself to give and take.
15. Discover the spiritual connection that makes sense and works for you.
16. Place high value on your personal truths and practices.
17. Accept relationships which compliment your life and ignore the ones that don’t.
18. Decide for yourself whom you want to be or become.
19. Show attentive care to meet your physical, mental, and emotional needs.
20. Live just as you are pleased and let your mind be eased.
21. Always have a contingency plan when things don’t work out or a means to adjust.
22. Never be afraid to walk away from harmful people, places, or things.
23. Don’t trouble yourself to justify the things you want, believe, or need.
24. Give and allow yourself all the things you want from someone else.
25. Don’t relinquish your personal power and authority over your own life.
26. Remember that life itself is a gift and nourish it.
27. Reach for joy and happiness until it becomes your reality.
28. Give yourself constant emotional, physical, mental relief from all forms of grief.
29. Chase ill-feelings away before allowing them to get in your way.
30. Protect and believe in yourself even if it means abandoning something or someone else.
It is hard to get living wrong as long as you are able, mindful, and willing to be strong. Your spirit is boundless and unlimited. Don’t waste or give your time focusing on regret as something better usually comes next. Your mind, body, and soul deserve gratitude and understanding. Once you fully and completely love yourself, it becomes easily seen, respected and admired by someone else.
By Psychic Agnes
There is no better journey than living your best life. It is something we can all accomplish with a little patience, time, effort, and self-support. There is no such thing as ultimate perfection, but it possible to gain what is perfect for you to find happiness and contentment. Your life belongs solely to you in regards to loving yourself. Love for oneself gets stronger with practice and attentive action. Self-worth is the key which allows us to do, live, and believe all that we can perceive. Your mind, body, and soul can be fully enjoyed if you are willing to be bold. Here are thirty ways to allow the benefits to unfold and gain self-control.
1. Think and believe there is nothing you desire which can’t be achieved.
2. Never forget to love yourself first and appreciate your worth.
3. Accept your beauty, faults, flaws and all as part of your goodness.
4. Every now and again focus solely on your needs and happiness.
5. Remove all things, people, and places that don’t support your best interests.
6. Experience things independently and openly as your own best friend.
7. Gift yourself as much as you are willing to gift anyone else.
8. Don’t ignore your intuition, intellect, pride, emotions, desires, or wisdom.
9. Set aside time for learning and experiencing new things.
10. Surround yourself in physical, material and emotional comfort.
11. Stand up for yourself even when you don’t have the agreement of anyone else.
12. Value your own opinion about what is good for you.
13. Do not allow family or friendships to define your will, purpose, or happiness.
14. Be kind to yourself when you make a mistake while allowing yourself to give and take.
15. Discover the spiritual connection that makes sense and works for you.
16. Place high value on your personal truths and practices.
17. Accept relationships which compliment your life and ignore the ones that don’t.
18. Decide for yourself whom you want to be or become.
19. Show attentive care to meet your physical, mental, and emotional needs.
20. Live just as you are pleased and let your mind be eased.
21. Always have a contingency plan when things don’t work out or a means to adjust.
22. Never be afraid to walk away from harmful people, places, or things.
23. Don’t trouble yourself to justify the things you want, believe, or need.
24. Give and allow yourself all the things you want from someone else.
25. Don’t relinquish your personal power and authority over your own life.
26. Remember that life itself is a gift and nourish it.
27. Reach for joy and happiness until it becomes your reality.
28. Give yourself constant emotional, physical, mental relief from all forms of grief.
29. Chase ill-feelings away before allowing them to get in your way.
30. Protect and believe in yourself even if it means abandoning something or someone else.
It is hard to get living wrong as long as you are able, mindful, and willing to be strong. Your spirit is boundless and unlimited. Don’t waste or give your time focusing on regret as something better usually comes next. Your mind, body, and soul deserve gratitude and understanding. Once you fully and completely love yourself, it becomes easily seen, respected and admired by someone else.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Creativity & Life Coaching: Healing Dreams: Exploring the Dreams That Can Tran...
Creativity & Life Coaching: Healing Dreams: Exploring the Dreams That Can Tran...: Healing Dreams: Exploring the Dreams That Can Transform Your Life by - Powell's Books
Friday, August 26, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Trinidadian Women: Find Time For Friends
Trinidadian Women: Find Time For Friends
In Trinidad, they call it "liming" -- relaxing and hanging out with people who understand you, support your goals and will give you a boost if your motivation sags. Experts say making time for some encouragement could help you drop a few dress sizes, too. According to a University of Pittsburgh study, 66 percent of weight-conscious people who spent an hour weekly with folks who were also striving to get slim and fit, were able to lose weight and keep it off long-term. The go-it-aloners? Only 24 percent of them successfully slimmed.
Why it Works: Losing weight is a long-term project and can be a fair bit of work, note University of Michigan researchers. Being surrounded by people who “get” what you’re going through can keep you on track toward your goal. Participants in a 2005 New England study lost 10 percent more weight when they worked out with a partner.
* Filed Under:
o cooking healthy,
o diet and fitness,
o food,
o getting healthy,
o healthy eating,
o weight loss
Read More http://www.ivillage.com/slim-down-secrets-women-around-world/4-b-371513#ixzz1Vu1nL0tk
Sign up for iVillage Special Offers
In Trinidad, they call it "liming" -- relaxing and hanging out with people who understand you, support your goals and will give you a boost if your motivation sags. Experts say making time for some encouragement could help you drop a few dress sizes, too. According to a University of Pittsburgh study, 66 percent of weight-conscious people who spent an hour weekly with folks who were also striving to get slim and fit, were able to lose weight and keep it off long-term. The go-it-aloners? Only 24 percent of them successfully slimmed.
Why it Works: Losing weight is a long-term project and can be a fair bit of work, note University of Michigan researchers. Being surrounded by people who “get” what you’re going through can keep you on track toward your goal. Participants in a 2005 New England study lost 10 percent more weight when they worked out with a partner.
* Filed Under:
o cooking healthy,
o diet and fitness,
o food,
o getting healthy,
o healthy eating,
o weight loss
Read More http://www.ivillage.com/slim-down-secrets-women-around-world/4-b-371513#ixzz1Vu1nL0tk
Sign up for iVillage Special Offers
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Weight Loss Wake Up Call
Weight Loss Wake Up Call
By Carmen Honacker
Get With the Program and Get Healthy!
We live in a society that condemns and discriminates against being overweight. It’s instilled early on that being thin means being successful and attractive. Yet what’s sold as attractive is so far off the grid that a mere 1% of the population actually meets the requirements. Having said that, though, there’s the other extreme, where all health issues and good advice are completely ignored, and gluttony rules above all.
I have been on both sides of the fence. There was a time when I was really skinny and a time when I was pretty overweight; although I stopped myself before I crossed the line to obesity. This “line” is different for everyone. I found it to be not too different from being a drug addict when it comes to the vicious cycle it creates and overcoming the hard-wiring that keeps you from doing the right thing. So what exactly got me to turn it all around? Well, I had reached my own personal “maximum density” at a size 14. I was also diagnosed with high blood pressure and high cholesterol, I had no energy, my back always hurt and I simply felt like crap.
I started my journey to health almost two years ago, and here’s what I found…
1. It’s All In Your Head!
If you cannot fix your head, you won’t fix your body. It’s as simple as that. Your brain, specifically your reward center, craves carbs and sugars. You are addicted to both of them, and getting rid of the cravings and addiction is quite difficult and, in some cases, impossible to do on your own. Also, any and all negative thoughts you have about yourself, i.e. “I can’t do it,” “I won’t lose the weight,” “This is too difficult,” etc., reside in your unconscious; which is the driving force to create your reality in your conscious mind! Hence, I started with the head and went to hypnotherapy for weight loss. The image my hypnotherapist instilled in my unconscious about how I wanted to look and feel is always present and dictates my behaviors and choices in the now. Not treating the head will only end up in failure, once the initial excitement has worn off and the real work begins.
2. There’s Nothing Quick About It
Oh, how I hate the fads and quick weight loss diets all kinds of infomercials and “experts” promise to you. It’s all a lie! Losing weight permanently and efficiently requires lasting and consistent changes to one’s diet and lifestyle! Diets fail, because once we start eating “normal” again, we pack the weight back on and then some. Also, no diet works without exercise! In two years I have gone down to a size 6/8 and have lost about 12% body fat. Anyone who promises you to lose 10% or more body fat in three months is full of crap; unless you have no job, go to the gym seven days a week (for about three hours) and restrict yourself to a 1,000 calorie diet. Good luck with that!
3. Diets
By “diet” one should consider permanent changes to what one eats. I did it by keeping a food log. Everything I ate, no matter how small, was logged and accounted for. It’s quite a wake-up call when you see how much you thought you ate, versus what you actually consume! Then one can go about eliminating or cutting down on certain things. For me that meant sugars and white flower/processed foods and fast food.
4. Exercise
Turns out you have to work out if you want to lose weight, period! Not only does regular exercise speed up your metabolism, but it also creates endorphins, responsible for one’s feelings of well-being and happiness. I knew that I needed help here, too, so I opted for personal trainers, and I’m still with mine! Why? Because a trainer holds me accountable when I don’t feel like going to the gym and when it’s “too hard.” Plus, he will make sure that I progress, that I don’t injure myself, and that I reach my goals. He will push me when I think I can’t go on, or can’t do better. My trainer motivates and encourages me and keeps track of how far I have come; which is an excellent tool when it comes to staying with the program. You should see how amped up you are once you lose inches from your waist!
5. Genes
Here’s another thing no one talks about: your genes. There’s a reason that not all of us can be skinny and tall, for example. Fighting genes is the hardest thing in the equation, and there is only so far one can go when it comes to overcoming them! Not all of us are natural runners, sprinters, dancers or body builders. And sometimes you can only go so far before you hit the wall. This wall approaches quicker with passing age and is also determined by how long you have been inactive.
There comes a time in our life when we either become complacent and make excuses, or we, literally, get with the program. Guess which one holds the higher reward?
By Carmen Honacker
Get With the Program and Get Healthy!
We live in a society that condemns and discriminates against being overweight. It’s instilled early on that being thin means being successful and attractive. Yet what’s sold as attractive is so far off the grid that a mere 1% of the population actually meets the requirements. Having said that, though, there’s the other extreme, where all health issues and good advice are completely ignored, and gluttony rules above all.
I have been on both sides of the fence. There was a time when I was really skinny and a time when I was pretty overweight; although I stopped myself before I crossed the line to obesity. This “line” is different for everyone. I found it to be not too different from being a drug addict when it comes to the vicious cycle it creates and overcoming the hard-wiring that keeps you from doing the right thing. So what exactly got me to turn it all around? Well, I had reached my own personal “maximum density” at a size 14. I was also diagnosed with high blood pressure and high cholesterol, I had no energy, my back always hurt and I simply felt like crap.
I started my journey to health almost two years ago, and here’s what I found…
1. It’s All In Your Head!
If you cannot fix your head, you won’t fix your body. It’s as simple as that. Your brain, specifically your reward center, craves carbs and sugars. You are addicted to both of them, and getting rid of the cravings and addiction is quite difficult and, in some cases, impossible to do on your own. Also, any and all negative thoughts you have about yourself, i.e. “I can’t do it,” “I won’t lose the weight,” “This is too difficult,” etc., reside in your unconscious; which is the driving force to create your reality in your conscious mind! Hence, I started with the head and went to hypnotherapy for weight loss. The image my hypnotherapist instilled in my unconscious about how I wanted to look and feel is always present and dictates my behaviors and choices in the now. Not treating the head will only end up in failure, once the initial excitement has worn off and the real work begins.
2. There’s Nothing Quick About It
Oh, how I hate the fads and quick weight loss diets all kinds of infomercials and “experts” promise to you. It’s all a lie! Losing weight permanently and efficiently requires lasting and consistent changes to one’s diet and lifestyle! Diets fail, because once we start eating “normal” again, we pack the weight back on and then some. Also, no diet works without exercise! In two years I have gone down to a size 6/8 and have lost about 12% body fat. Anyone who promises you to lose 10% or more body fat in three months is full of crap; unless you have no job, go to the gym seven days a week (for about three hours) and restrict yourself to a 1,000 calorie diet. Good luck with that!
3. Diets
By “diet” one should consider permanent changes to what one eats. I did it by keeping a food log. Everything I ate, no matter how small, was logged and accounted for. It’s quite a wake-up call when you see how much you thought you ate, versus what you actually consume! Then one can go about eliminating or cutting down on certain things. For me that meant sugars and white flower/processed foods and fast food.
4. Exercise
Turns out you have to work out if you want to lose weight, period! Not only does regular exercise speed up your metabolism, but it also creates endorphins, responsible for one’s feelings of well-being and happiness. I knew that I needed help here, too, so I opted for personal trainers, and I’m still with mine! Why? Because a trainer holds me accountable when I don’t feel like going to the gym and when it’s “too hard.” Plus, he will make sure that I progress, that I don’t injure myself, and that I reach my goals. He will push me when I think I can’t go on, or can’t do better. My trainer motivates and encourages me and keeps track of how far I have come; which is an excellent tool when it comes to staying with the program. You should see how amped up you are once you lose inches from your waist!
5. Genes
Here’s another thing no one talks about: your genes. There’s a reason that not all of us can be skinny and tall, for example. Fighting genes is the hardest thing in the equation, and there is only so far one can go when it comes to overcoming them! Not all of us are natural runners, sprinters, dancers or body builders. And sometimes you can only go so far before you hit the wall. This wall approaches quicker with passing age and is also determined by how long you have been inactive.
There comes a time in our life when we either become complacent and make excuses, or we, literally, get with the program. Guess which one holds the higher reward?
Dr. Oz's Healthy Habits for Today
Add More Flavor to Your Food
Your spice rack is full of beneficial, anti-aging powers. The every day superstars? Dr. Oz says research shows that cinnamon can decrease blood sugar levels and lower cholesterol, especially in people with type 2 diabetes. Paprika and cayenne pepper can help fight high blood pressure and improve circulation. In lab studies, he says, eating rosemary has been shown to improve learning rates in rats—data that has been reproduced in humans. Even ginger can decrease blood pressure, alleviate arthritis pain and reduce your risk of cancer.
Keep Reading: Dr. Oz's Ultimate Anti-Aging Checklist
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/health/Healthy-Habits-for-Today-This-Week-and-This-Month/5#ixzz1VDX61dHp
Your spice rack is full of beneficial, anti-aging powers. The every day superstars? Dr. Oz says research shows that cinnamon can decrease blood sugar levels and lower cholesterol, especially in people with type 2 diabetes. Paprika and cayenne pepper can help fight high blood pressure and improve circulation. In lab studies, he says, eating rosemary has been shown to improve learning rates in rats—data that has been reproduced in humans. Even ginger can decrease blood pressure, alleviate arthritis pain and reduce your risk of cancer.
Keep Reading: Dr. Oz's Ultimate Anti-Aging Checklist
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/health/Healthy-Habits-for-Today-This-Week-and-This-Month/5#ixzz1VDX61dHp
Monday, August 15, 2011
Identify Your Passions
by Susanne Goldstein
One way to figure out what you want to do, and align that with what you're good at is to identify what passions drive you to get out of bed in the morning, what interests captivate your attention and what skills you have to offer. I call the place where these three overlapping circles intersect the Sweet Spot (see diagram). Your Sweet Spot can help you discover the essence of your brand, and is an essential component of differentiating yourself from other hungry job seekers.
* Ask the most creative person in your life to help you do the following brainstorming exercise to discover your Sweet Spot.
* Grab three sheets of paper and some colored pens. Title one page with Passions, another with Interests, and the third page with Skills.
* Fill in the pages using the definitions above, being as open-minded as you can be. Once finished, randomly select one item from each list and begin brainstorming interesting things that you could do with your life that would allow you to work at the place where your Passions, Interests and Skills intersect.
* Example: Passion - experiencing new things. Interest - learning about different cultures. Skill - writing. Brainstorm idea - Travel the world, experience new things and meet people of varying backgrounds. Write a professional travel blog or for a magazine.
One way to figure out what you want to do, and align that with what you're good at is to identify what passions drive you to get out of bed in the morning, what interests captivate your attention and what skills you have to offer. I call the place where these three overlapping circles intersect the Sweet Spot (see diagram). Your Sweet Spot can help you discover the essence of your brand, and is an essential component of differentiating yourself from other hungry job seekers.
* Ask the most creative person in your life to help you do the following brainstorming exercise to discover your Sweet Spot.
* Grab three sheets of paper and some colored pens. Title one page with Passions, another with Interests, and the third page with Skills.
* Fill in the pages using the definitions above, being as open-minded as you can be. Once finished, randomly select one item from each list and begin brainstorming interesting things that you could do with your life that would allow you to work at the place where your Passions, Interests and Skills intersect.
* Example: Passion - experiencing new things. Interest - learning about different cultures. Skill - writing. Brainstorm idea - Travel the world, experience new things and meet people of varying backgrounds. Write a professional travel blog or for a magazine.
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
How to Turn Regret into a Life Booster
By Sara Reistad-Long
It's pretty safe to say that everybody, at one point or another, has felt the pain of regret—a missed opportunity, perhaps, or the sense of having made a mistake. But when Abigail Stewart, PhD, a professor of psychology and women's studies at the University of Michigan, started tracking women in their late 30s, she found that this pain can be turned to your advantage. Specifically, Stewart has shown that women who take action on the basis of their regrets—getting a job if they felt they'd left the workforce prematurely, going back to school—score higher on physical and psychological measures of well-being later in life. The key, she says, is acknowledging the thing you wish you'd done, or done differently, without fixating on it, and using it as a motivator to make changes. In a bereavement study she's working on now, subjects who didn't dwell on what they failed to say or do not only recovered faster but reported positive effects like newfound wisdom and self-awareness. To transform a regret into a life enhancer:
* Stop obsessing. Consider that stewing over something in your past may be holding you back from enjoying life in the future and, at the very least, is not the best way to cope. Interestingly, a study this year in the European Archives of Psychiatry and Clinical Neuroscience suggests that ruminating can more closely resemble avoidance than problem solving.
* Figure out how to make up for what's happened. Once you've identified a regret, ask yourself whether you can make up for it now. Maybe you wish you'd invested more in your career; if so, look into ways to do that. Break down your plan into bite-size components. "Small steps may feel like dragging the process out, but because they're likely to be manageable and therefore confidence boosting, this strategy tends to ensure success in the long run," says Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, PhD, a professor of psychology at Yale and author of Women Who Think Too Much.
* Reframe the past. If your regret can't be corrected (the ex-boyfriend married someone else, the relative you never told your feelings to died), Stewart's research has determined two effective approaches, both of which involve coming up with a favorable narrative of the past events. "You don't have to do anything to counteract the problem directly," she stresses. "The goal is to figure out, 'How can I accept that this is in my life and not let it define me?'"
In the first method, "putting the best face on things," the key is to pinpoint the ways the event you regret contributed positively to your story. This means framing your thoughts in "if…then" constructions, such as "If I hadn't moved far away from my family, I wouldn't have met my husband" or "Had I gotten married then, I wouldn't have pushed myself so hard to start my own business."
The second strategy, called "coming to terms," requires deeper work. Here you have to make peace with what happened, often forgiving yourself and those involved. Through such a lens, your conclusion might sound something like "I regret that I didn't see my mother more in the years before she passed away, but the decision made sense for who I was at the time."
Whichever method you choose, Stewart emphasizes that you're priming yourself for success. "If you try, getting past regret is a likelihood," she says. "People seem to be able to deal with almost anything."
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Turn-Regret-into-Motivation#ixzz1V8Jmgibo
How to Turn Regret into a Life Booster
By Sara Reistad-Long
It's pretty safe to say that everybody, at one point or another, has felt the pain of regret—a missed opportunity, perhaps, or the sense of having made a mistake. But when Abigail Stewart, PhD, a professor of psychology and women's studies at the University of Michigan, started tracking women in their late 30s, she found that this pain can be turned to your advantage. Specifically, Stewart has shown that women who take action on the basis of their regrets—getting a job if they felt they'd left the workforce prematurely, going back to school—score higher on physical and psychological measures of well-being later in life. The key, she says, is acknowledging the thing you wish you'd done, or done differently, without fixating on it, and using it as a motivator to make changes. In a bereavement study she's working on now, subjects who didn't dwell on what they failed to say or do not only recovered faster but reported positive effects like newfound wisdom and self-awareness. To transform a regret into a life enhancer:
* Stop obsessing. Consider that stewing over something in your past may be holding you back from enjoying life in the future and, at the very least, is not the best way to cope. Interestingly, a study this year in the European Archives of Psychiatry and Clinical Neuroscience suggests that ruminating can more closely resemble avoidance than problem solving.
* Figure out how to make up for what's happened. Once you've identified a regret, ask yourself whether you can make up for it now. Maybe you wish you'd invested more in your career; if so, look into ways to do that. Break down your plan into bite-size components. "Small steps may feel like dragging the process out, but because they're likely to be manageable and therefore confidence boosting, this strategy tends to ensure success in the long run," says Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, PhD, a professor of psychology at Yale and author of Women Who Think Too Much.
* Reframe the past. If your regret can't be corrected (the ex-boyfriend married someone else, the relative you never told your feelings to died), Stewart's research has determined two effective approaches, both of which involve coming up with a favorable narrative of the past events. "You don't have to do anything to counteract the problem directly," she stresses. "The goal is to figure out, 'How can I accept that this is in my life and not let it define me?'"
In the first method, "putting the best face on things," the key is to pinpoint the ways the event you regret contributed positively to your story. This means framing your thoughts in "if…then" constructions, such as "If I hadn't moved far away from my family, I wouldn't have met my husband" or "Had I gotten married then, I wouldn't have pushed myself so hard to start my own business."
The second strategy, called "coming to terms," requires deeper work. Here you have to make peace with what happened, often forgiving yourself and those involved. Through such a lens, your conclusion might sound something like "I regret that I didn't see my mother more in the years before she passed away, but the decision made sense for who I was at the time."
Whichever method you choose, Stewart emphasizes that you're priming yourself for success. "If you try, getting past regret is a likelihood," she says. "People seem to be able to deal with almost anything."
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Turn-Regret-into-Motivation#ixzz1V8Jmgibo
What's Your Real Motivation?
What's Your Real Motivation?
Discover the key advice that will get you where you want to go.
By Liz Brody
We all want to be healthier, but why? What's our real purpose? Even the strongest resolve can collapse if you're trying to change for someone else—get thinner for a spouse, quit smoking for a nagging mother, exercise because you're supposed to. "To get motivated in a healthy way, start by asking yourself a series of questions," says Marianne Legato, MD, founder of the Partnership for Gender-Specific Medicine at Columbia University, whose latest book is Why Men Die First: How to Lengthen Your Lifespan.
These questions, compiled by Legato and her LLuminari colleagues, may seem difficult to answer at first, but the point is to get you digging down to a place where your intentions become clear. If a question seems particularly intimidating, think of it as a lake whose waters are deep and cold. Dip your toe in, letting your body adjust to the bracing temperature. Then dunk a foot, a leg, until you're all the way in. You may want to write down thoughts or just roll them over in your mind.
Part of this exercise is to remind yourself about what you—as opposed to everyone else around you—need in order to feel happy and fulfilled. If you don't make time for what matters to you, how can others value your importance?
1. Who am I? How do I think of myself? What are my strengths and weaknesses?
2. Who do I want to be?
3. Why am I here? Why am I important? What is my mission?
4. What am I missing? The time to read a book? A close friendship?
5. What's my motivation for wanting to improve my food and exercise habits? If it's to look better, do I expect favorable results to bring love?
6. Am I afraid of making changes or of taking risks (quitting a boring job, getting out of a bad relationship)? Do I fear failure or the responsibility that could come with success? Could I embrace change instead as an adventure?
7. What has stopped me from keeping resolutions in the past? Is the obstacle (or obstacles) still present in my life? If so, how will I navigate it this time?
8. When I'm tempted to wander off track, what could I say to myself, or do, to stick with the original plan?
9. How can I build in support for myself? Ask a friend to be a health buddy? Join a walking club?
10. What am I doing in my life that's hurting me? Smoking? Drinking too much? Letting work interfere with relationships?
11. What are the sources of joy I need to feel whole?
12. Am I happy?
If you don't have the energy to make changes now, ask yourself these questions again in a month or two. And consider that in order to part with what has become habit or routine, you may simply need to take a leap of faith. "So many of us are in jobs we hate or relationships that are stagnant, but we're too paralyzed to change," says surgeon Nancy Snyderman, MD, whose books include Dr. Nancy Snyderman's Guide to Good Health for Women over Forty. "As we age, we stop taking risks."
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Get-Motivated-to-Change-Your-Lifestyle-LLuminari-Guide#ixzz1V8IAevuP
Discover the key advice that will get you where you want to go.
By Liz Brody
We all want to be healthier, but why? What's our real purpose? Even the strongest resolve can collapse if you're trying to change for someone else—get thinner for a spouse, quit smoking for a nagging mother, exercise because you're supposed to. "To get motivated in a healthy way, start by asking yourself a series of questions," says Marianne Legato, MD, founder of the Partnership for Gender-Specific Medicine at Columbia University, whose latest book is Why Men Die First: How to Lengthen Your Lifespan.
These questions, compiled by Legato and her LLuminari colleagues, may seem difficult to answer at first, but the point is to get you digging down to a place where your intentions become clear. If a question seems particularly intimidating, think of it as a lake whose waters are deep and cold. Dip your toe in, letting your body adjust to the bracing temperature. Then dunk a foot, a leg, until you're all the way in. You may want to write down thoughts or just roll them over in your mind.
Part of this exercise is to remind yourself about what you—as opposed to everyone else around you—need in order to feel happy and fulfilled. If you don't make time for what matters to you, how can others value your importance?
1. Who am I? How do I think of myself? What are my strengths and weaknesses?
2. Who do I want to be?
3. Why am I here? Why am I important? What is my mission?
4. What am I missing? The time to read a book? A close friendship?
5. What's my motivation for wanting to improve my food and exercise habits? If it's to look better, do I expect favorable results to bring love?
6. Am I afraid of making changes or of taking risks (quitting a boring job, getting out of a bad relationship)? Do I fear failure or the responsibility that could come with success? Could I embrace change instead as an adventure?
7. What has stopped me from keeping resolutions in the past? Is the obstacle (or obstacles) still present in my life? If so, how will I navigate it this time?
8. When I'm tempted to wander off track, what could I say to myself, or do, to stick with the original plan?
9. How can I build in support for myself? Ask a friend to be a health buddy? Join a walking club?
10. What am I doing in my life that's hurting me? Smoking? Drinking too much? Letting work interfere with relationships?
11. What are the sources of joy I need to feel whole?
12. Am I happy?
If you don't have the energy to make changes now, ask yourself these questions again in a month or two. And consider that in order to part with what has become habit or routine, you may simply need to take a leap of faith. "So many of us are in jobs we hate or relationships that are stagnant, but we're too paralyzed to change," says surgeon Nancy Snyderman, MD, whose books include Dr. Nancy Snyderman's Guide to Good Health for Women over Forty. "As we age, we stop taking risks."
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Get-Motivated-to-Change-Your-Lifestyle-LLuminari-Guide#ixzz1V8IAevuP
Friday, August 12, 2011
Conquer Your Roadblocks
Conquer Your Roadblocks
August 11, 2011 at 5:00 am
By Holly Allender
Break Through Anything that Stands in Your Way
Psychic Paige explains that when we listen to the nay-sayers, those who say it can’t be done, we are putting up roadblocks to our success. Although these nay-sayers might be friends, family or co-workers and they might mean well, what are their motivations? Are they afraid you might fail? Are they fearful that you might get hurt? By allowing them to define your life path, instant roadblocks are created. Sometimes the roadblocks are undetectable, deep in our subconscious.
Sometimes the roadblock comes from within. That small voice Paige talks about is your conscious/subconscious trying to guide you towards your goals. When you ignore it, you create your own roadblocks.
I dreamed of becoming a massage therapist. However, I didn’t think I could do it because I worked full time and it would be expensive. One day, I decided to see if I could do it. If not, I could leave the dream in the dust. Much to my surprise, I found a school nearby with evening and weekend classes. I even found a way to pay for my classes. So I did it. I’m now a certified massage therapist. If I had allowed my thoughts to predict my future, I wouldn’t have achieved one of my dreams.
By reconnecting to your inner voice, you’ll remove roadblocks very quickly. If you’ve never heard the voice or have long forgotten what it sounded like, use these tips to help reconnect to your inner voice.
1. Meditation: It’s Not What You Think
Meditation can mean sitting for long hours thinking about nothing. However, in this meditation, we want to sit and listen to ourselves. Begin by sitting comfortably in a quiet place. Breathe deeply in and out of your nose, slowly and repeatedly. Allow your mind and thoughts to focus on your inhales and exhales. Then, as an observer, watch what thoughts float to the surface. There’s no need to interact with the thoughts. Instead, allow yourself to remember these thoughts when you come out of the meditative state.
2. Yoga Pose
If sitting quietly is too challenging, then do some yoga! Again, breathe in and out through your nose and allow your thoughts to focus on the breath and the pose. As you’re doing the poses, watch your thoughts. There’s no need to interact with them, just make note what the voice or voices are saying.
3. Creative Writing
If meditation or doing yoga are not compelling, sit with a journal or at your computer. Breath deeply in and out through your nose (noticing a trend here?). When the first thought pops into your head, write it down and keep writing until the thoughts start to repeat themselves or until you feel you’ve heard enough.
Now that you’ve connected to the voice, is it surprising everything it had to say? Was it all positive? Was it all negative? Or was it a mix between the two? It really doesn’t matter what you heard, what did you learn?
When doing these exercises, I found out that my inner voice was rather smart, insightful, jealous, mean and wonderful. By listening to the voice, I saw my path more clearly. I understood where my instincts and gut reactions were coming from and why. Since I became a certified massage therapist, I’ve gone on to conquer many more dreams. May you clear the path ahead to achieve your dreams.
August 11, 2011 at 5:00 am
By Holly Allender
Break Through Anything that Stands in Your Way
Psychic Paige explains that when we listen to the nay-sayers, those who say it can’t be done, we are putting up roadblocks to our success. Although these nay-sayers might be friends, family or co-workers and they might mean well, what are their motivations? Are they afraid you might fail? Are they fearful that you might get hurt? By allowing them to define your life path, instant roadblocks are created. Sometimes the roadblocks are undetectable, deep in our subconscious.
Sometimes the roadblock comes from within. That small voice Paige talks about is your conscious/subconscious trying to guide you towards your goals. When you ignore it, you create your own roadblocks.
I dreamed of becoming a massage therapist. However, I didn’t think I could do it because I worked full time and it would be expensive. One day, I decided to see if I could do it. If not, I could leave the dream in the dust. Much to my surprise, I found a school nearby with evening and weekend classes. I even found a way to pay for my classes. So I did it. I’m now a certified massage therapist. If I had allowed my thoughts to predict my future, I wouldn’t have achieved one of my dreams.
By reconnecting to your inner voice, you’ll remove roadblocks very quickly. If you’ve never heard the voice or have long forgotten what it sounded like, use these tips to help reconnect to your inner voice.
1. Meditation: It’s Not What You Think
Meditation can mean sitting for long hours thinking about nothing. However, in this meditation, we want to sit and listen to ourselves. Begin by sitting comfortably in a quiet place. Breathe deeply in and out of your nose, slowly and repeatedly. Allow your mind and thoughts to focus on your inhales and exhales. Then, as an observer, watch what thoughts float to the surface. There’s no need to interact with the thoughts. Instead, allow yourself to remember these thoughts when you come out of the meditative state.
2. Yoga Pose
If sitting quietly is too challenging, then do some yoga! Again, breathe in and out through your nose and allow your thoughts to focus on the breath and the pose. As you’re doing the poses, watch your thoughts. There’s no need to interact with them, just make note what the voice or voices are saying.
3. Creative Writing
If meditation or doing yoga are not compelling, sit with a journal or at your computer. Breath deeply in and out through your nose (noticing a trend here?). When the first thought pops into your head, write it down and keep writing until the thoughts start to repeat themselves or until you feel you’ve heard enough.
Now that you’ve connected to the voice, is it surprising everything it had to say? Was it all positive? Was it all negative? Or was it a mix between the two? It really doesn’t matter what you heard, what did you learn?
When doing these exercises, I found out that my inner voice was rather smart, insightful, jealous, mean and wonderful. By listening to the voice, I saw my path more clearly. I understood where my instincts and gut reactions were coming from and why. Since I became a certified massage therapist, I’ve gone on to conquer many more dreams. May you clear the path ahead to achieve your dreams.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
How to Forgive Yourself
How to Forgive Yourself
Dr. Phil's 5 Steps to Forgiving Yourself
by Dr.Phil McGraw
Don't be miserable for the rest of your life. Dr. Phil reveals his 5-step plan to create a new relationship with yourself.
Dr. Phil says that you have the power to be miserable the rest of your life. Or, you can say, "I'm going to give myself the permission to heal." You have to decide whether you're going to define a new relationship with yourself and remove the roadblocks that are blocking your path to living your best life.
Step One: Reopen your heart and mind again.
When you are faced with terrible pain, your heart and mind slam shut. Opening yourself up again is a choice in terms of how you contextualize what happened to you. It allows you to say, "I am willing to consider that there is another way to adjust."
Step Two: Choose to love yourself again.
Guilt is a wastebasket term that we use to cover everything negative and bad. One defining factor of guilt is that we commit the ultimate betrayal: abandoning ourselves. If you can't love yourself, you won't be able to heal yourself.
Step Three: Confront and demystify your guilt.
Most people have the misconception that our depth of grief reflects the level of love for the person we've lost. It's not a betrayal of your loved one to go past the pain and deal with it in a different way. Demystifying the guilt means understanding the fear.
Step Four: Give yourself permission to heal.
Part of forgiving yourself is understanding that you don't have to be punished. Give yourself permission to let go of the pain. If you have a wounded heart, you can't give good and pure love to anyone else.
Step Five: Actively create new relationships.
If you've been unable to forgive yourself, it's possible that you've been holding yourself up to unrealistic expectations. You need to decide whether you want to continue living in pain. Once you've made that decision, you need to create a new relationship with yourself.
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Rituals-for-Forgiveness/3#ixzz1UmURXXig
Dr. Phil's 5 Steps to Forgiving Yourself
by Dr.Phil McGraw
Don't be miserable for the rest of your life. Dr. Phil reveals his 5-step plan to create a new relationship with yourself.
Dr. Phil says that you have the power to be miserable the rest of your life. Or, you can say, "I'm going to give myself the permission to heal." You have to decide whether you're going to define a new relationship with yourself and remove the roadblocks that are blocking your path to living your best life.
Step One: Reopen your heart and mind again.
When you are faced with terrible pain, your heart and mind slam shut. Opening yourself up again is a choice in terms of how you contextualize what happened to you. It allows you to say, "I am willing to consider that there is another way to adjust."
Step Two: Choose to love yourself again.
Guilt is a wastebasket term that we use to cover everything negative and bad. One defining factor of guilt is that we commit the ultimate betrayal: abandoning ourselves. If you can't love yourself, you won't be able to heal yourself.
Step Three: Confront and demystify your guilt.
Most people have the misconception that our depth of grief reflects the level of love for the person we've lost. It's not a betrayal of your loved one to go past the pain and deal with it in a different way. Demystifying the guilt means understanding the fear.
Step Four: Give yourself permission to heal.
Part of forgiving yourself is understanding that you don't have to be punished. Give yourself permission to let go of the pain. If you have a wounded heart, you can't give good and pure love to anyone else.
Step Five: Actively create new relationships.
If you've been unable to forgive yourself, it's possible that you've been holding yourself up to unrealistic expectations. You need to decide whether you want to continue living in pain. Once you've made that decision, you need to create a new relationship with yourself.
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Rituals-for-Forgiveness/3#ixzz1UmURXXig
5 Easy Ways to Cut Your Calories in Half
5 Easy Ways to Cut Your Calories in Half
The road to a healthy body means sacrificing some deliciousness (but not all).
By Liz Brody
O, The Oprah Magazine | From O, The Oprah Magazine
Getting Started: For one week, keep a food diary: Every time you put something in your mouth, record the time, the food, how much you ate, and how you felt afterward (still hungry, full, satisfied, etc.). Most people don't realize how much they're eating until they write it down.
In an ideal world: A woman eats only when she's hungry. She has no obsessive tendencies toward food. And her diet is 15 to 25 percent protein; 20 to 30 percent fat, of which no more than 10 percent is saturated fat; and 45 to 60 percent vegetables, fruits, and whole grains, with small amounts of white starches like pasta and sugar.
Let's get real: That woman is a rare species. So if you're not hitting all the marks, don't beat yourself up; at least you've got a lot of dinner companions. If you tend to feel really guilty when you eat a "bad" food (ice cream, chocolate) and maybe even punish yourself by doubling your workout or skipping dinner that night, Alice Domar, PhD, director of the Mind/Body Center for Women's Health at Boston IVF, suggests trying to develop a kinder attitude toward food—for the sake of your mind as well as your body. One strategy is to follow an 80/20 plan of eating. "If 80 percent of what you eat is the really good stuff—fruits, whole grains—the other 20 percent can be the foods you really want," Domar says. "In other words, one Krispy Kreme is nothing to feel guilty about. It's in your 20 percent."
Take a step: Domar suggests trying to make one change in your diet this month. That's one—not two or three. The idea is to make that change in increments, each week building on the last, so it's as painless as possible. Pick from the following:
If you take cream in your coffee: Week one, switch to whole milk; week two, use 2 percent fat milk; week three, 1 percent; week four, nonfat.
To increase your grains: Go from white bread to sourdough or Italian bread, then to fortified bread, then to whole grain bread.
If you cook a lot with hamburger, switch from full-fat meat to lower fat, then lean, then mix in some ground turkey, and finally use the turkey with very little or no beef.
For ice cream addicts: Switch from your premium scoop to a supermarket brand, then low-fat ice cream or yogurt, then sorbet.
Instead of drinking soda: Fill a glass three-quarters full with your favorite juice and the rest seltzer; then mix them half and half, then one-quarter juice and three-quarters seltzer, and finally try no-calorie flavored bubbly water.
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/health/Weight-Loss-Cutting-and-Burning-Half-Your-Daily-Calories#ixzz1UlBkncYF
The road to a healthy body means sacrificing some deliciousness (but not all).
By Liz Brody
O, The Oprah Magazine | From O, The Oprah Magazine
Getting Started: For one week, keep a food diary: Every time you put something in your mouth, record the time, the food, how much you ate, and how you felt afterward (still hungry, full, satisfied, etc.). Most people don't realize how much they're eating until they write it down.
In an ideal world: A woman eats only when she's hungry. She has no obsessive tendencies toward food. And her diet is 15 to 25 percent protein; 20 to 30 percent fat, of which no more than 10 percent is saturated fat; and 45 to 60 percent vegetables, fruits, and whole grains, with small amounts of white starches like pasta and sugar.
Let's get real: That woman is a rare species. So if you're not hitting all the marks, don't beat yourself up; at least you've got a lot of dinner companions. If you tend to feel really guilty when you eat a "bad" food (ice cream, chocolate) and maybe even punish yourself by doubling your workout or skipping dinner that night, Alice Domar, PhD, director of the Mind/Body Center for Women's Health at Boston IVF, suggests trying to develop a kinder attitude toward food—for the sake of your mind as well as your body. One strategy is to follow an 80/20 plan of eating. "If 80 percent of what you eat is the really good stuff—fruits, whole grains—the other 20 percent can be the foods you really want," Domar says. "In other words, one Krispy Kreme is nothing to feel guilty about. It's in your 20 percent."
Take a step: Domar suggests trying to make one change in your diet this month. That's one—not two or three. The idea is to make that change in increments, each week building on the last, so it's as painless as possible. Pick from the following:
If you take cream in your coffee: Week one, switch to whole milk; week two, use 2 percent fat milk; week three, 1 percent; week four, nonfat.
To increase your grains: Go from white bread to sourdough or Italian bread, then to fortified bread, then to whole grain bread.
If you cook a lot with hamburger, switch from full-fat meat to lower fat, then lean, then mix in some ground turkey, and finally use the turkey with very little or no beef.
For ice cream addicts: Switch from your premium scoop to a supermarket brand, then low-fat ice cream or yogurt, then sorbet.
Instead of drinking soda: Fill a glass three-quarters full with your favorite juice and the rest seltzer; then mix them half and half, then one-quarter juice and three-quarters seltzer, and finally try no-calorie flavored bubbly water.
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/health/Weight-Loss-Cutting-and-Burning-Half-Your-Daily-Calories#ixzz1UlBkncYF
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Let it Go! Drop the Past and Grab Your Future
Let it Go! Drop the Past and Grab Your Future
By Carmen Honacker
Don’t Let the Past Get in the Way of Your Future
Most of us have a hard time letting go of bad memories or times when we have been wronged or abused. Sometimes, holding on for a short while can aid us in becoming stronger and making better decisions in the future; but when we’re unable to learn, or refuse to learn, or when we have learned and still hold on, we become stuck. And when be become stuck, our “bad” memories turn into a toxic dump that’s eating us up from the inside out. Literally!
Holding on to things that no longer serve you will make you physically and mentally ill. There is no worse killer of a sound body and mind than a sick attachment to the past and the people in it. The older we get, the sicker we become, until we are an island of toxic waste; the persons we once complained about, the sick behaviors we ranted and raved about, may now have become our own, and we’re stuck in our own version of reality; unable to see it. Hence, we continue living a miserable life, filled with regret, driving those around us insane, until the day we die. And when we lay on our death bed, we can’t look bad and say “what a ride,” instead we have nothing inside of us but pain, sorrow, anger and misery.
This isn’t what we’re meant to be or meant to do! This is not our destiny, and we can choose differently. No matter how often we have been wronged, and what abuse we may have endured; no matter what nutjobs made our lives hell, we can always choose to come out of it, always! It’s never “too late” to change if we choose. It’s too late when we started believing our own hype and are now caught up in what we call “real.”
How does one release one’s crappy past? Well, that depends on one’s baggage. The bigger the skeletons in the closet, the bigger the chance that you won’t be able to do it alone and without help. This isn’t a bad thing, and it sure as hell doesn’t make you weak! Weak is stubbornly looking the other way, giving up and whining that you “can’t.” Weak is not taking responsibility for your quality of life and for refusing to see how your chosen misery touches the lives of those around you; and how you make them miserable, too!
There are plenty of therapists and therapy styles; there’s yoga, meditation and there are self-help books. In other words, there is more material on getting well than one could possibly ever consume in a lifetime. If your life sucks and the quality of your life is miserable, then do something about it. Got crappy friends? Don’t have the relationships, friends, career or money you want? Do something about it! Start by taking an honest look at yourself, ask a few “trusted” advisors, preferably people who actually live the life you want, and then get help.
One awesome tool my therapist taught me is purging! Write it down. Write letters, emails, notes, and journals; whatever you want. You don’t even have to send them, although you can if necessary (just be prepared for any consequences your confrontation may have!). Very important about this exercise, do it to get it off your chest, not to attach an outcome or expect change! If you expect an outcome, you’ll set yourself up for failure all over again.
People do not change for you or for me. People won’t magically learn to hear you, won’t suddenly see things your way, be responsible, accountable or learn to care. No, my friend, that part you cannot expect. Most people who harm others will continue to do so; nothing you say or do will change that. But if you simply need to speak your truth, do it! Go for it, set yourself free and walk away. No back and forth arguing, no trying to “change their mind,” no hanging on to expecting an apology or a reconciliation of any sort. Just release the crap and then let it go for good!
I have learned in therapy to do this. Once I started purging my skeletons, my life became easier. What was even more amazing to me is that my therapist taught me how to stop blaming myself and feeling guilty when I confronted someone who had abused or wronged me. The outcome was and still is liberating. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wander around wielding my sword of justice (although that is what I do well ;-D ); I do, however speak up in situations that I literally swallowed before. And what I found is that I simply feel a great sense of pleasure from no longer allowing others to use me, badmouth, or simply harm me. I don’t feel guilty (after all, I give you ample warning before I “strike”) and I don’t get caught up too much in the BS anymore.
Sure, this is a process; and a long one for me so far. Sure, there are times when I slip, because none of this comes as naturally to me as it should, but with practice I’m getting better, and with that I am getting stronger and healthier. I no longer “hold it in” and I don’t pretend to be fine. There is a fine line between being able to forgive and being a doormat. I always opted for “taking the high road,” which meant that at a specific point, I’d drop the conversation and simply never speak to the person again. However, I would hold it inside and I would obsess about it, because the other one “got away with it,” while I still held the pain inside. The army of jerks that was stuck in my “closet” was quite large and the pain I felt reliving their BS was debilitating. If you think “they” are going through the same hell, you are probably mistaken. Most jerks not only justify their actions and words, but continue them; and you, my friend, won’t change that.
Once you start releasing your pain, your whole life will turn around. The lighter your load gets, the lighter your life becomes. You’ll start having more light than dark days, you’ll laugh more, cry less, worry less, trust more (in the right places) and find yourself attracting all the things you want.
Having a light heart is the key to happiness and success. Holding on to your BS is only going to make you miserable, while the rest of the world stops listening to you, avoiding you, until one day, you’ll find yourself truly and utterly alone; regarded as the bitter, whiny, crybaby you have become. And who wants that fate? Not I, and you shouldn’t either!
By Carmen Honacker
Don’t Let the Past Get in the Way of Your Future
Most of us have a hard time letting go of bad memories or times when we have been wronged or abused. Sometimes, holding on for a short while can aid us in becoming stronger and making better decisions in the future; but when we’re unable to learn, or refuse to learn, or when we have learned and still hold on, we become stuck. And when be become stuck, our “bad” memories turn into a toxic dump that’s eating us up from the inside out. Literally!
Holding on to things that no longer serve you will make you physically and mentally ill. There is no worse killer of a sound body and mind than a sick attachment to the past and the people in it. The older we get, the sicker we become, until we are an island of toxic waste; the persons we once complained about, the sick behaviors we ranted and raved about, may now have become our own, and we’re stuck in our own version of reality; unable to see it. Hence, we continue living a miserable life, filled with regret, driving those around us insane, until the day we die. And when we lay on our death bed, we can’t look bad and say “what a ride,” instead we have nothing inside of us but pain, sorrow, anger and misery.
This isn’t what we’re meant to be or meant to do! This is not our destiny, and we can choose differently. No matter how often we have been wronged, and what abuse we may have endured; no matter what nutjobs made our lives hell, we can always choose to come out of it, always! It’s never “too late” to change if we choose. It’s too late when we started believing our own hype and are now caught up in what we call “real.”
How does one release one’s crappy past? Well, that depends on one’s baggage. The bigger the skeletons in the closet, the bigger the chance that you won’t be able to do it alone and without help. This isn’t a bad thing, and it sure as hell doesn’t make you weak! Weak is stubbornly looking the other way, giving up and whining that you “can’t.” Weak is not taking responsibility for your quality of life and for refusing to see how your chosen misery touches the lives of those around you; and how you make them miserable, too!
There are plenty of therapists and therapy styles; there’s yoga, meditation and there are self-help books. In other words, there is more material on getting well than one could possibly ever consume in a lifetime. If your life sucks and the quality of your life is miserable, then do something about it. Got crappy friends? Don’t have the relationships, friends, career or money you want? Do something about it! Start by taking an honest look at yourself, ask a few “trusted” advisors, preferably people who actually live the life you want, and then get help.
One awesome tool my therapist taught me is purging! Write it down. Write letters, emails, notes, and journals; whatever you want. You don’t even have to send them, although you can if necessary (just be prepared for any consequences your confrontation may have!). Very important about this exercise, do it to get it off your chest, not to attach an outcome or expect change! If you expect an outcome, you’ll set yourself up for failure all over again.
People do not change for you or for me. People won’t magically learn to hear you, won’t suddenly see things your way, be responsible, accountable or learn to care. No, my friend, that part you cannot expect. Most people who harm others will continue to do so; nothing you say or do will change that. But if you simply need to speak your truth, do it! Go for it, set yourself free and walk away. No back and forth arguing, no trying to “change their mind,” no hanging on to expecting an apology or a reconciliation of any sort. Just release the crap and then let it go for good!
I have learned in therapy to do this. Once I started purging my skeletons, my life became easier. What was even more amazing to me is that my therapist taught me how to stop blaming myself and feeling guilty when I confronted someone who had abused or wronged me. The outcome was and still is liberating. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wander around wielding my sword of justice (although that is what I do well ;-D ); I do, however speak up in situations that I literally swallowed before. And what I found is that I simply feel a great sense of pleasure from no longer allowing others to use me, badmouth, or simply harm me. I don’t feel guilty (after all, I give you ample warning before I “strike”) and I don’t get caught up too much in the BS anymore.
Sure, this is a process; and a long one for me so far. Sure, there are times when I slip, because none of this comes as naturally to me as it should, but with practice I’m getting better, and with that I am getting stronger and healthier. I no longer “hold it in” and I don’t pretend to be fine. There is a fine line between being able to forgive and being a doormat. I always opted for “taking the high road,” which meant that at a specific point, I’d drop the conversation and simply never speak to the person again. However, I would hold it inside and I would obsess about it, because the other one “got away with it,” while I still held the pain inside. The army of jerks that was stuck in my “closet” was quite large and the pain I felt reliving their BS was debilitating. If you think “they” are going through the same hell, you are probably mistaken. Most jerks not only justify their actions and words, but continue them; and you, my friend, won’t change that.
Once you start releasing your pain, your whole life will turn around. The lighter your load gets, the lighter your life becomes. You’ll start having more light than dark days, you’ll laugh more, cry less, worry less, trust more (in the right places) and find yourself attracting all the things you want.
Having a light heart is the key to happiness and success. Holding on to your BS is only going to make you miserable, while the rest of the world stops listening to you, avoiding you, until one day, you’ll find yourself truly and utterly alone; regarded as the bitter, whiny, crybaby you have become. And who wants that fate? Not I, and you shouldn’t either!
Saturday, August 6, 2011
regain your balance “in the heat of the moment”
4 Stress Busting Tips
By Psychic Yemaya
As we see children growing up and learning, their biggest obstacle is usually their own frustration, and that’s true of adults as well! When we’re stressed out or frustrated, we don’t handle things well. We’re in danger of overreacting or lashing out, and perhaps doing something we’ll regret later. Your body is in danger from stress as well—these are the things that can shave years off the healthy quality of your life. Each time you stress out, you’re causing perhaps irrevocable damage to small blood vessels, synapse structures in the brain, or the tissues around the heart, etc, etc….
So how can you regain your balance “in the heat of the moment”?
I study how to modify behaviors as well as different therapies or programs to deal with them. One of my favorites for dealing with stress in the moment is “H.A.L.T.” This system suggests that when you’re too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired you need to be very careful of your emotions, and reactions (hence…H.A.L.T.) and the second you are aware that your stress is building or your getting irritated…you stop what you’re doing (to the best of your ability) and reset and calm yourself.
How do you reset?
1. Take a moment to go to another room, or excuse yourself for a bathroom trip. Perhaps go outside if you can. In other words, step away from the source of stress if you can.
2. Stop your mind from churning. Focus on s-l-o-w, even breaths in and out, count as you breathe in, and again as you breathe all the way out. Lengthen each breath until it’s as long and deep and slow as you can go. This actually forces your body to calm down which is half the battle!
3. Before you think through the situation, or even consider it, you need to center. This spiritual term is about pulling your energy back into your body. Focus your awareness on the flow of energy around your core, your spine; your chakras. More advanced students can use the associated chakra colors, or tones, to balance each of the seven points (you can look them up on Wikipedia!). If you’re just learning, simply being aware of pulling your energy back into your core, along with the focus on slowing your breath is enough.
4. Grounding is also a spiritual term about feeling yourself attached to the ground (earth, gravitational pull, solid foundation) below your feet. By shifting your focus to where your body touches the earth, you are attaching to something around you that is much bigger and denser… like letting your negative emotions go into a much bigger container, and drawing the calm and positive energy from that space… into yourself!
Now deciding how to handle the situation will be easier. When something is bothering you, talk to someone about it! If you don’t feel safe talking to someone in your life, find a professional that will be a confidential listener.
By Psychic Yemaya
As we see children growing up and learning, their biggest obstacle is usually their own frustration, and that’s true of adults as well! When we’re stressed out or frustrated, we don’t handle things well. We’re in danger of overreacting or lashing out, and perhaps doing something we’ll regret later. Your body is in danger from stress as well—these are the things that can shave years off the healthy quality of your life. Each time you stress out, you’re causing perhaps irrevocable damage to small blood vessels, synapse structures in the brain, or the tissues around the heart, etc, etc….
So how can you regain your balance “in the heat of the moment”?
I study how to modify behaviors as well as different therapies or programs to deal with them. One of my favorites for dealing with stress in the moment is “H.A.L.T.” This system suggests that when you’re too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired you need to be very careful of your emotions, and reactions (hence…H.A.L.T.) and the second you are aware that your stress is building or your getting irritated…you stop what you’re doing (to the best of your ability) and reset and calm yourself.
How do you reset?
1. Take a moment to go to another room, or excuse yourself for a bathroom trip. Perhaps go outside if you can. In other words, step away from the source of stress if you can.
2. Stop your mind from churning. Focus on s-l-o-w, even breaths in and out, count as you breathe in, and again as you breathe all the way out. Lengthen each breath until it’s as long and deep and slow as you can go. This actually forces your body to calm down which is half the battle!
3. Before you think through the situation, or even consider it, you need to center. This spiritual term is about pulling your energy back into your body. Focus your awareness on the flow of energy around your core, your spine; your chakras. More advanced students can use the associated chakra colors, or tones, to balance each of the seven points (you can look them up on Wikipedia!). If you’re just learning, simply being aware of pulling your energy back into your core, along with the focus on slowing your breath is enough.
4. Grounding is also a spiritual term about feeling yourself attached to the ground (earth, gravitational pull, solid foundation) below your feet. By shifting your focus to where your body touches the earth, you are attaching to something around you that is much bigger and denser… like letting your negative emotions go into a much bigger container, and drawing the calm and positive energy from that space… into yourself!
Now deciding how to handle the situation will be easier. When something is bothering you, talk to someone about it! If you don’t feel safe talking to someone in your life, find a professional that will be a confidential listener.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Resistant starch: The new power nutrient
Resistant starch: The new power nutrient
by Mary Lee Chin
Learn more at: www.maryleechin.com
March National Nutrition Month 2008 It’s always been fascinating to work in the field of nutrition. New and interesting nutrition science research findings constantly emerge. The challenge is to tease out the relevant and truly useful information, from the promises of quick fixes. For 2008 March National Nutrition Month, I am going to explore something new and a bit different. While this may be the first time you have heard of it, it’s actually been a part of your diet most of your life. Research, well-documented and replicated, points to the health benefits of a component in starchy food called resistant starch, a type of dietary fiber.
Those on low-carb diets may have been avoiding starchy foods such as potatoes, grains, beans, corn, rice, bread, pasta and cornflakes, billed as causing blood sugars to rise, and packing on unneeded calories. But all these foods contain resistant starch, formed particularly when cooked starchy foods are cooled.
Keep it cool Cooking causes starch to absorb water and swell. As it slowly cools, portions of the starch crystallize into a form that resists digestion. Cooling either at room temperature or preferably in the refrigerator will raise resistant starch levels. Don’t reheat. That breaks up the crystals, causing resistant starch levels to plummet.
It gets its name because it “resists” digestion in the body, and though this is true of many types of fiber, what makes resistant starch so special is the impact it has on weight loss and health overall.
Health benefits More than 160 studies have examined this little-known nutrient’s health and weight-loss benefits. A WHO Expert Consultation on Human Nutrition statement, "One of the major developments in our understanding of the importance of carbohydrates for health in the past twenty years has been the discovery of resistant starch.”
Weight Resistant starch has shown that can it increase your body’s ability to burn fat. Escaping digestion in the small intestine, it passes to the large bowel for fermentation, and creates a beneficial short-chain fatty acid called butyrate. Butyrate may block the body’s ability to burn carbohydrates. Instead the body burns both stored fat and recently consumed fat for energy---preventing it from ending up on your thighs.
It shuts down hunger hormones. Animal studies have found that resistant starch prompts the body to stimulate production of a satiety-inducing hormone, a peptide (PYY), which increases feelings of fullness. You eat less.
Cancer Research shows that the butyrate created by resistant starch is protective of colon cells, making it less vulnerable to the DNA damage which can lead to cancer. It can also create a pH drop inside the colon, which boosts the absorption of calcium and blocks the absorption of cancer-causing substances.
Diabetes Like other fibers, resistant starch helps control blood sugar levels. Because it skips routine digestion, researchers see lower blood sugar and insulin levels following a resistant starch-rich meal. Another exciting area of research is looking at its ability to improve insulin sensitivity.
How to eat enough Right now, there is no recommendation from USDA for resistant starch intake. Preliminary data shows the average American woman consumes about 4 grams of resistant starch each day. Nutrition experts believe the research is strong enough to advocate doubling that to 8 grams per day. Simply adding ½ to 1 cup of cooled resistant starch-rich food per day can help you get to that level.
Tips for adding resistant starch to your diet
Beans 8 grams per ½ cup
Ø Dust off your recipe for a traditional Three-bean Salad
Ø Snack on hummus or bean dip with whole grain crackers or crisp carrot sticks
Ø Savor Spicy Black, Pinto Bean and Corn Salsa (recipe below)
Bananas (slightly green) 6 grams per small piece of fruit
Ø Slice and mix with yogurt and granola
Ø Top a favorite curry with banana chunks
Ø Think kid…peanut butter and raisins on banana for classic “Ants on a Log”
Potatoes and yams 4 grams per ½ cup
Ø Serve cold potato salad
Ø Toss chilled, chunked red potatoes into a green salad
Ø Go elegant and serve Vichyssoise--cold potato soup
Barley 3 grams per ½ cup
Ø Create a cold barley salad of cooked cooled barley, red peppers, peas and Italian dressing
Ø Sprinkle onto leafy green garden salads
Ø Mix with chopped fresh basil, olives and olive oil and stuff into hollowed tomatoes
Corn 2 grams per half cup
Ø Combine cooked cooled corn with tomatoes, cucumbers and green onions
Ø Sprinkle on top of your green salads
Ø Wrap it up in your taco
Spicy Black, Pinto Bean and Corn Salsa
2 - 14 ounce cans black beans, drained
1 - 14 ounce can pinto beans, drained
1 - 14 ounce can corn, drained
3 large tomatoes, chopped
½ medium red onion, chopped, or I bunch scallions, chopped
1 bottle hot sauce (I used ½ bottle of Cholula’s)
1 clove garlic, minced
1 T balsamic vinegar
1 T olive oil
½ bunch cilantro, chopped
Combine all. Good served immediately but even better if it can sit in refrigerator for an hour for flavors to blend. Serve with whole grain corn chips as a dip, or over chopped green lettuce for a main meal salad.
by Mary Lee Chin
Learn more at: www.maryleechin.com
March National Nutrition Month 2008 It’s always been fascinating to work in the field of nutrition. New and interesting nutrition science research findings constantly emerge. The challenge is to tease out the relevant and truly useful information, from the promises of quick fixes. For 2008 March National Nutrition Month, I am going to explore something new and a bit different. While this may be the first time you have heard of it, it’s actually been a part of your diet most of your life. Research, well-documented and replicated, points to the health benefits of a component in starchy food called resistant starch, a type of dietary fiber.
Those on low-carb diets may have been avoiding starchy foods such as potatoes, grains, beans, corn, rice, bread, pasta and cornflakes, billed as causing blood sugars to rise, and packing on unneeded calories. But all these foods contain resistant starch, formed particularly when cooked starchy foods are cooled.
Keep it cool Cooking causes starch to absorb water and swell. As it slowly cools, portions of the starch crystallize into a form that resists digestion. Cooling either at room temperature or preferably in the refrigerator will raise resistant starch levels. Don’t reheat. That breaks up the crystals, causing resistant starch levels to plummet.
It gets its name because it “resists” digestion in the body, and though this is true of many types of fiber, what makes resistant starch so special is the impact it has on weight loss and health overall.
Health benefits More than 160 studies have examined this little-known nutrient’s health and weight-loss benefits. A WHO Expert Consultation on Human Nutrition statement, "One of the major developments in our understanding of the importance of carbohydrates for health in the past twenty years has been the discovery of resistant starch.”
Weight Resistant starch has shown that can it increase your body’s ability to burn fat. Escaping digestion in the small intestine, it passes to the large bowel for fermentation, and creates a beneficial short-chain fatty acid called butyrate. Butyrate may block the body’s ability to burn carbohydrates. Instead the body burns both stored fat and recently consumed fat for energy---preventing it from ending up on your thighs.
It shuts down hunger hormones. Animal studies have found that resistant starch prompts the body to stimulate production of a satiety-inducing hormone, a peptide (PYY), which increases feelings of fullness. You eat less.
Cancer Research shows that the butyrate created by resistant starch is protective of colon cells, making it less vulnerable to the DNA damage which can lead to cancer. It can also create a pH drop inside the colon, which boosts the absorption of calcium and blocks the absorption of cancer-causing substances.
Diabetes Like other fibers, resistant starch helps control blood sugar levels. Because it skips routine digestion, researchers see lower blood sugar and insulin levels following a resistant starch-rich meal. Another exciting area of research is looking at its ability to improve insulin sensitivity.
How to eat enough Right now, there is no recommendation from USDA for resistant starch intake. Preliminary data shows the average American woman consumes about 4 grams of resistant starch each day. Nutrition experts believe the research is strong enough to advocate doubling that to 8 grams per day. Simply adding ½ to 1 cup of cooled resistant starch-rich food per day can help you get to that level.
Tips for adding resistant starch to your diet
Beans 8 grams per ½ cup
Ø Dust off your recipe for a traditional Three-bean Salad
Ø Snack on hummus or bean dip with whole grain crackers or crisp carrot sticks
Ø Savor Spicy Black, Pinto Bean and Corn Salsa (recipe below)
Bananas (slightly green) 6 grams per small piece of fruit
Ø Slice and mix with yogurt and granola
Ø Top a favorite curry with banana chunks
Ø Think kid…peanut butter and raisins on banana for classic “Ants on a Log”
Potatoes and yams 4 grams per ½ cup
Ø Serve cold potato salad
Ø Toss chilled, chunked red potatoes into a green salad
Ø Go elegant and serve Vichyssoise--cold potato soup
Barley 3 grams per ½ cup
Ø Create a cold barley salad of cooked cooled barley, red peppers, peas and Italian dressing
Ø Sprinkle onto leafy green garden salads
Ø Mix with chopped fresh basil, olives and olive oil and stuff into hollowed tomatoes
Corn 2 grams per half cup
Ø Combine cooked cooled corn with tomatoes, cucumbers and green onions
Ø Sprinkle on top of your green salads
Ø Wrap it up in your taco
Spicy Black, Pinto Bean and Corn Salsa
2 - 14 ounce cans black beans, drained
1 - 14 ounce can pinto beans, drained
1 - 14 ounce can corn, drained
3 large tomatoes, chopped
½ medium red onion, chopped, or I bunch scallions, chopped
1 bottle hot sauce (I used ½ bottle of Cholula’s)
1 clove garlic, minced
1 T balsamic vinegar
1 T olive oil
½ bunch cilantro, chopped
Combine all. Good served immediately but even better if it can sit in refrigerator for an hour for flavors to blend. Serve with whole grain corn chips as a dip, or over chopped green lettuce for a main meal salad.
Deconstructing Franny: Super-Carbs Speed Metabolism
There are "resistant starches" that help prevent the foods that contain it from being stored as fat. They quoted David Feder, R.D. (author of The Skinny Carbs Diet) "Most starches are broken down into glucose and released into the bloodstream in the small intestine. But digestive enzymes can't break up resistant starch molecules, so they're not converted into sugar." The article went on to state that because digestive enzymes can't break down resistant starch, the body absorbs up to 50% fewer calories from foods that contain it. Resistant starch also helps move fat molecules through the digestive tract more quickly
Upon researching the topic further I found a blogpost by Mary Lee Chin MS, RD that in regards to Weight "Resistant starch has shown that it can increase your body’s ability to burn fat. Escaping digestion in the small intestine, it passes to the large bowel for fermentation, and creates a beneficial short-chain fatty acid called butyrate. (It is believed that ) Butyrate blocks the body’s ability to burn carbohydrates. Instead the body burns both stored fat and recently consumed fat for energy---preventing it from ending up on your thighs.
It shuts down hunger hormones. Animal studies have found that resistant starch prompts the body to stimulate production of a satiety-inducing hormone, a peptide (PYY), which increases feelings of fullness. You eat less."
AH-MAZ-ING!
Apparently the trick is (that the FIRST article failed to mention) is that if these starches are cool they work even more efficiently.
The list of RS foods include:
Long Grain Brown Rice
Beans (black, navy, pinto, red Black-eyed peas, Garbanzo Beans, Edamame, etc)
banana (medium slightly under ripe)
Yams and Potatoes (small and cooked)
Hummus
Corn
Hi-Maize Flour (King Arthur) *can be used along with any recipe calling for flour
read more about it here , here and here
The FIRST Magazine recommends consuming 20 grams of RS starch per day. 4 daily servings of 5 grams would work. So I'm going to give this a shot for two weeks, anything bigger than a 4lb weight loss I am going to attribute to my consumption of Resistant Starches.
http://deconstructingfranny.blogspot.com
Upon researching the topic further I found a blogpost by Mary Lee Chin MS, RD that in regards to Weight "Resistant starch has shown that it can increase your body’s ability to burn fat. Escaping digestion in the small intestine, it passes to the large bowel for fermentation, and creates a beneficial short-chain fatty acid called butyrate. (It is believed that ) Butyrate blocks the body’s ability to burn carbohydrates. Instead the body burns both stored fat and recently consumed fat for energy---preventing it from ending up on your thighs.
It shuts down hunger hormones. Animal studies have found that resistant starch prompts the body to stimulate production of a satiety-inducing hormone, a peptide (PYY), which increases feelings of fullness. You eat less."
AH-MAZ-ING!
Apparently the trick is (that the FIRST article failed to mention) is that if these starches are cool they work even more efficiently.
The list of RS foods include:
Long Grain Brown Rice
Beans (black, navy, pinto, red Black-eyed peas, Garbanzo Beans, Edamame, etc)
banana (medium slightly under ripe)
Yams and Potatoes (small and cooked)
Hummus
Corn
Hi-Maize Flour (King Arthur) *can be used along with any recipe calling for flour
read more about it here , here and here
The FIRST Magazine recommends consuming 20 grams of RS starch per day. 4 daily servings of 5 grams would work. So I'm going to give this a shot for two weeks, anything bigger than a 4lb weight loss I am going to attribute to my consumption of Resistant Starches.
http://deconstructingfranny.blogspot.com
Monday, August 1, 2011
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