Take a look into your real being
by S.K. Smith
What is happiness? If you're among the millions who find the concept elusive and hard to define, you're not alone. Life has its ups and downs after all, and as such, feeling miserable is sometimes par for the course. Still, even with the mood swings and stresses that are part of every day modern existence, a general state of well-being is possible - and even definable to some extent. How, you ask? After all, being happy means different things to different people.
While that may be true, research has shown that genuine happiness is not linked to external circumstances. Rather, it is the product of a series of internal factors. Take this quiz and find out how happy you are - and what you can do to increase your overall state of well-being.
Even when I'm stressed beyond belief (about money, love, career or anything), I have a general sense that "everything will be alright."
a) Always (9)
b) Sometimes (6)
c) Rarely (3)
d) Never (0)
2. I accept responsibility for my mistakes - and take credit when I do something good/beneficial/skillfully.
a) Yes for both (9)
b) Mistakes yes, victories/achievements… not so much (5)
c) I don't like being blamed, but sure I'll celebrate my successes! (5)
d) Neither - I like to stay under the radar (0)
3. When things go wrong, I want to…
a) Find the culprit! (0)
b) Move on… (3)
c) Come up with solutions to avoid it next time (9)
4. The best word to sum up my usual mental/emotional state is
a) Dread (0)
b) Frustration (3)
c) Curiosity/Wonder (6)
d) Peace (9)
5. I have too many priorities to focus on taking care of myself!
a) Always (0)
b) Sometimes (3)
c) Rarely (6)
d) Never (9)
6. I value people - and spending time with them - more than possessions.
a) True (9)
b) False (0)
c) True - though I could use some more great people to spend time with (6)
d) False - though only because my possessions out number my friends/loved ones (3)
7. It doesn't take a lot to make me smile - in fact, I take pleasure in the little things (like when my favorite song comes on in Starbucks or the first sunny day after a rainy week).
a) Always (9)
b) Sometimes (6)
c) Rarely (3)
d) Never (0)
8. I am often afraid - even if I don't know of what.
a) True (9)
b) False (0)
9. When a good thing happens, I might enjoy it for a moment, but I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
a) Always (0)
b) Sometimes (3)
c) Rarely (6)
d) Never (9)
10. I've grown a lot throughout my life - especially thanks to the bad times!
a) True (6)
b) False (0)
11. My life has a spiritual side - however I define that.
a) True (6)
b) False (0)
12. There are things in my life I will never get over.
a) True (0)
b) False (6)
SCORING
0-33 POINTS: Caught in the wheel…
Stop a moment and take a deep breath. Whatever situation you've gotten yourself into (and that "situation" may be as simple as the daily grind!), it seems you're letting your life control you rather than you controlling your life. This is no way to live a fulfilled existence - and it's no wonder you're not feeling happy!
Whether you're stuck in the past (like on an ex-lover) or waiting for your life to start (for instance, when you get that promotion), here's the thing: life is happening NOW. And in the now, no one else is responsible for your well-being. Likewise, no situation is beyond your control. In other words, while you don't necessarily create every circumstance you wind up in, you do have ultimate say in your reactions. You can say no, you can move on, you can cultivate a sense of general well-being that includes taking time to savor the world around you as it is right this second! A happy life means caring for yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially, financially (and, yes, even sexually). Sure, it may sound like a lot… but you can do it. After all, if your answers are any indicator, you're already taking care of everyone and everything else!
34-66 POINTS: Getting by just fine
You could certainly be a lot worse off. But you could also be a lot happier. It's likely, however, that you know this… you just need some work on follow through. For instance, you're aware you'd feel better if you spent more time doing that thing you love (yoga, running, painting, crossword, fill in the blank), but you have to find the time to actually do it. That's where you keep getting stuck. It's time to turn that corner. Have faith, take a leap. Let go of the urge to blame and don't feed your insecurities. You're on your way to trumping them - for the most part (remember, no one is perfect!).
In short: a list of things to do for more joy on the fridge is a really great start. Now make it a point to do them all. Even if it's one at a time.
67-99 POINTS: A Happy Place
Congratulations happy person! The good news is you're usually living in the moment… or at least working on it. The great news is that means you don't have to focus on being present. Instead, you can work on making the here and now the best it can be!
Some ways to do that:
Cultivate your strengths and work on your weaknesses. Surround yourself with people you value and be sure to treat them well. Practice gratitude and strive to learn when you do make mistakes. Meditate. Eat right. Overindulge every once in a while - and don't beat yourself up for it. Go easy on yourself - and on others.
While that may be true, research has shown that genuine happiness is not linked to external circumstances. Rather, it is the product of a series of internal factors. Take this quiz and find out how happy you are - and what you can do to increase your overall state of well-being.
1. Even when I'm stressed beyond belief (about money, love, career or anything), I have a general sense that "everything will be alright."
a) Always (9)
b) Sometimes (6)
c) Rarely (3)
d) Never (0)
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Dealing with a difficult boss 2. I accept responsibility for my mistakes - and take credit when I do something good/beneficial/skillfully.
a) Yes for both (9)
b) Mistakes yes, victories/achievements… not so much (5)
c) I don't like being blamed, but sure I'll celebrate my successes! (5)
d) Neither - I like to stay under the radar (0)
3. When things go wrong, I want to…
a) Find the culprit! (0)
b) Move on… (3)
c) Come up with solutions to avoid it next time (9)
4. The best word to sum up my usual mental/emotional state is
a) Dread (0)
b) Frustration (3)
c) Curiosity/Wonder (6)
d) Peace (9)
5. I have too many priorities to focus on taking care of myself!
a) Always (0)
b) Sometimes (3)
c) Rarely (6)
d) Never (9)
6. I value people - and spending time with them - more than possessions.
a) True (9)
b) False (0)
c) True - though I could use some more great people to spend time with (6)
d) False - though only because my possessions out number my friends/loved ones (3)
7. It doesn't take a lot to make me smile - in fact, I take pleasure in the little things (like when my favorite song comes on in Starbucks or the first sunny day after a rainy week).
a) Always (9)
b) Sometimes (6)
c) Rarely (3)
d) Never (0)
8. I am often afraid - even if I don't know of what.
a) True (9)
b) False (0)
9. When a good thing happens, I might enjoy it for a moment, but I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
a) Always (0)
b) Sometimes (3)
c) Rarely (6)
d) Never (9)
10. I've grown a lot throughout my life - especially thanks to the bad times!
a) True (6)
b) False (0)
11. My life has a spiritual side - however I define that.
a) True (6)
b) False (0)
12. There are things in my life I will never get over.
a) True (0)
b) False (6)
SCORING
0-33 POINTS: Caught in the wheel…
Stop a moment and take a deep breath. Whatever situation you've gotten yourself into (and that "situation" may be as simple as the daily grind!), it seems you're letting your life control you rather than you controlling your life. This is no way to live a fulfilled existence - and it's no wonder you're not feeling happy!
Whether you're stuck in the past (like on an ex-lover) or waiting for your life to start (for instance, when you get that promotion), here's the thing: life is happening NOW. And in the now, no one else is responsible for your well-being. Likewise, no situation is beyond your control. In other words, while you don't necessarily create every circumstance you wind up in, you do have ultimate say in your reactions. You can say no, you can move on, you can cultivate a sense of general well-being that includes taking time to savor the world around you as it is right this second! A happy life means caring for yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially, financially (and, yes, even sexually). Sure, it may sound like a lot… but you can do it. After all, if your answers are any indicator, you're already taking care of everyone and everything else!
34-66 POINTS: Getting by just fine
You could certainly be a lot worse off. But you could also be a lot happier. It's likely, however, that you know this… you just need some work on follow through. For instance, you're aware you'd feel better if you spent more time doing that thing you love (yoga, running, painting, crossword, fill in the blank), but you have to find the time to actually do it. That's where you keep getting stuck. It's time to turn that corner. Have faith, take a leap. Let go of the urge to blame and don't feed your insecurities. You're on your way to trumping them - for the most part (remember, no one is perfect!).
In short: a list of things to do for more joy on the fridge is a really great start. Now make it a point to do them all. Even if it's one at a time.
67-99 POINTS: A Happy Place
Congratulations happy person! The good news is you're usually living in the moment… or at least working on it. The great news is that means you don't have to focus on being present. Instead, you can work on making the here and now the best it can be!
Some ways to do that:
Cultivate your strengths and work on your weaknesses. Surround yourself with people you value and be sure to treat them well. Practice gratitude and strive to learn when you do make mistakes. Meditate. Eat right. Overindulge every once in a while - and don't beat yourself up for it. Go easy on yourself - and on others.
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