Unconditional Love

Unconditional Love
A study of its real allure
by Tanya O'Quinn

We all yearn for the precious gift, of unconditional love yet few of us ever receive it, and fewer are actually able to give it. We want to exist within our imperfect selves with our significant others, our family, our friends… accepting us for who we really are and loving us in spite of ourselves.

Yet this type of love may seem aloof peeking in and out of relationships. And to many, it seemingly never stakes its claim for too long. Though some relationships contain elements of unconditional love, not all are based on the priceless, yet mysterious and mutually empowering, emotion.

Signs beyond the bedroom... What exactly is unconditional love?
Most relationships claim to be "full of love" and the participants in these relationships actually believe that they love their partners unconditionally. However, if there is some "stipulation" to your love then you do not love them unconditionally. You must decide to accept the other as they are overall, and then proceed to "fall in love with the whole individual."

I love you
You can't just say, "I love them because they do this... have this... treat me this way," citing all the plusses in your partner. You must also love them even though they do this, don't have that and at times, may treat you a certain way. Of course there are attributes that we desire and do not desire in a partner, but when it comes to unconditional loving, if you are capable of granting it to this particular person, then you must have a broad acceptance of and sensitivity towards your partner.

The nitty gritty
There is power in learning to love someone unconditionally. It enables the lover to develop and grow emotionally. It removes blockages from one's own heart, enabling it to wander, explore, discover and become inspired. As the lover loves unconditionally, they become able to move past instilled beliefs, traditional concepts, and influenced behaviors. The development of this capacity requires self-confidence, acceptance of self, emotional stability and courage. Furthermore, acquiring the ability to love unconditionally is a process that affects the emotional, mental and spiritual levels of one's existence.

Be free
On an emotional level, loving someone unequivocally enables us to remove the restrictions of what we think we need, want and desire from another and replace them with the opportunity to actually discover what the object of our affection can give us. On a mental level, we open our minds to alternative views, practices and processes of giving and receiving love from another. And on a spiritual level, we allow our inner spirit to connect with another, despite whatever characteristics our lover's ego chooses to exhibit.

Ultimately, unconditional love is about relinquishing control and discarding any expectations. Simply accept love, give love and be surprised by where the force may lead you (both!). It's probably to a far greater place than you could ever have imagined.

Coach Sherrie says: You must first love yourself unconditionally before you can love another that way.
Also, this does NOT give anyone permission to purposely hurt you. I love my husband dearly, but if one day he messes around on me, IT'S ALL OVER! Fortunately, I also trust that he would NEVER do that. (In the past though, I had no qualms about telling a guy, "Hey, that o.k. Go ahead and be with her. I don't want you anyway!")